Diannesjourney

2010-11-26T13:31:00.000+08:00

I think I have had one of the most frustrating weeks ever. I have battled every bureaucratic ninnie and I am just over them all. Why cant Aussie employ clear English speaking Dr's? To add to the pain of all of that I have been trying to kill the infection that I got. It seems to be clearing up but its far from right. I still have about a day and a half of meds left so here's hoping that ll kick it in the head. I still get a bit of a sting at the very start of the wound on my hip but the skin getting really comfortable. Still times of being tight but not too bad and certainly manageable. I still haven't reverted back to sleeping on my tummy but I almost could. Its just not quite comfortable enough. I cant wait to have my boobs done. That will be awesome. Hope you are all well. Blog ya soon

Oh great an infection

2010-11-22T15:09:00.000+08:00

I have already typed the surgeon suggested i walk in water as a form of low impact exercise so a few days ago I though Id give it a go.Well wouldn't you know it if I dont go and get an infection just under my belly button. I had some swine flu antibiotics left over so I took them not realising that all AB's arent the same. Luckily my nurse friend corrected me and off I trotted to the Dr's. I got some golden staph AB's and hopefully that ll kick it in the head.
Boy I hope so. The one thing I have tried so hard to avoid is an infection of any kind so this was a real step back for me. Interestingly the Dr said he thought it was probably from a broken suture that has made its way to the surface and may pop out of the wound. Now that's something to look forward to lol xx

A funny thing happened today

2010-11-17T15:35:00.000+08:00

Completely off losing weight subject. We have two Labradors. Murphy and Lilli. They were going to be husband and wife but after her first two seasons Murphy it seemed didn't know how to be a stud so we decided that we would have her and him fixed and just having them as pets. We went away for two weeks a couple of weeks ago and when we got home I said I thought Lilli looked preggers. As time has gone on we weren't sure and last night were saying we might take her to the vet to see if she is. Didn't really think so as our dog sitters didn't notice any shagging happen and they were with them almost 24/7.
This morning I was sitting watching tv when I heard a crow squawking. It was one of those constant noises and eventually I got up and looked out the window. There is Murphy standing over what I thought was the crow until he picked it up and walked off and I saw a very distinct puppy in his mouth.
I went rushing outside and found 2 more in a recess in the yard. I bought them in with Lilli then Andy walked in saying I found another FOUR!!!! So we have 7 little Hershey coloured lab pups all well and healthy and living in the spare room with mum.
What an exciting day! lol
Will post some photos soon. Awww too cute!!

2010-11-17T06:25:00.000+08:00

Well its been one month since the op. I cant believe its been that long. I really cant believe a month of our holidays are gone already. Andy is off to Christchurch this weekend and I'm soooo jealous but glad he is going to see his family. I long to smell the green grass of home. Next year hopefully.
My wounds are healing really well. It still feels really tight at times and I'm guessing it will for a while. I don't know what I would think if it didn't as its a real indication that I have a tight taught tummy. My belly button still looks like a little alien. I am bio oiling like there is no tomorrow. All in all its really good. It sure has made me keen to get a boob job but that will have to wait for now. It will come but not sure when. Someone once said to me I was too old for one but I really don't think so and even if I did I would still do it lol.
I'm off to walk in water today at the local pools. I'm gonna use a flutter board cos the pools grade is really steep and one minute IMO walking then a step later I am on tippy toes and then I'm submerged so a board should help me a bit. I have also been exercycling. Well I have done 10 minutes of it and it seemed to not be too hard on my belly so will keep going with that . I have been really good with my eating and have lost a grand total of absolutely nothing NOTHING!!!!! I also haven't gained anything so that's something I guess! Blog you soon xxx

Felt like a million bucks!

2010-11-14T07:56:00.000+08:00

Back from the wedding. I saw so many people from work which was lovely to catch up with them all. Most of them didn't recognise me for ages which always happens when I don't wear glasses although I cant see a thing! I wore a dress which is unusual for me so it was probably a little harder to tell my tum had changed but the majority were gob smacked at how different I looked. (lots checked out my none existent new rack lol).
One of the amazing things was how many ladies said they were either booking in or were seriously thinking about booking in for some surgery. They said I had inspired them. Im not sure how but I do understand it takes courage to do it although maybe I didn't show jsut how much I was pooping bricks. So many people thought I looked really different in the face and like I told them its only the 6 days having complete bedrest and then being on holidays although I got asked if I had had a face job!!!!!
My lesson last night which I have learnt so well but obviously not well enough is 'dont go out hungry'. I was like a prowling lion when the food came out and as ii was Thai food (YUMMO) they had me at coconut cream. Needless to say I chowed down big time and enjoyed every fried, spiced, creamed thing but now I have the guilts so I will drink copious amounts of water and rein in the appetite big time for the next few days.
Will try and get some photos up today xx

2010-11-13T05:35:00.000+08:00

Its 5.21am and I have been up for an hour. Not sure whats up with my sleeping I think being on holidays has really thrown it all out of whack.
Last night was the first night I could lie on my tummy and feel almost like I could have slept like it. Things must be stretching a little for that to happen cos up till now its felt way to tight and I certainly haven't been able to stretch out at all on my tummy. Its a nice feeling to think I will be able to be a tummy sleeper again very soon. I hate it on my back so that will be great.
Ive been thinking I might try and start a weight loss support group up here in the sunny nor' west. Not a weight watchers style but more a share ideas recipes dreams and maybe some exercise together too, I really don't think it matters a toss how you lose weight as long as it is sustainable and I think with encouragement maybe we could cheer each other on to getting weight off and keeping it off. Its of course just an idea at this stage but maybe it will come together.
We are going to a wedding late today and I am looking forward to getting a wee bit dressed up and seeing a lot of people I haven't since the tuck. I look forward to their reactions or even if they will notice. Most people thought (as I told them) I was having a boob job as well so whenever I run into anybody they look straight at my chest and I can see them thinking 'hmmmm not a lot of change for the money lol). I even had one lady say how great they were looking now!!!!
Will put up an updated photo tomorrow of the scars. Everything is healing perfectly except I still get freaked by my wee alien belly button xx

2010-11-10T22:11:00.000+08:00

Wow suddenly its like Im on this big blogging roll. I think its a combination of a new computer, being on holidays, excited at the tummy tuck and just wanting to burble on. I am going to go walking in the water at the local pools tomorrow. If you know anything about me its this. Me and exercise parted company years ago by about my third contracted gym membership I was thinking 'this is nuts'. So to go to the pools is a big deal. I will pack a wee lunch and spend a few hours floating walking paddling!
No compression bandage is bliss. It took a while to get use to the security of it not being there but now I am well use to it and enjoying not getting hot and itchy under it. Bio oil is now being slathered on by the bucketload. I believe it helps and the surgeon said to use it so hopefully there is something in it. It helps with stretch marks too so I am thinking maybe I could bathe in it lol.
Catch you soon xx

Road to recovery

2010-11-09T21:55:00.000+08:00

Wow I got an e mail from Dr Allen saying the compression bandage can now come off and from next week I can ride a bike gently and go walking and I can walk in water but no swimming for another month (over arm). Most exciting bit is by far removing the bandage. I am so pleased as it is getting into the 40's so that will help keep the body temp down.

the journey continues...........................

2010-11-08T11:48:00.001+08:00

Day 6 arrived and I waited patiently for Andy to arrive with our coffee and Dr Allen to arrive. I thought it would be about 2 pm before he came in as that's what it had always been Andy and I had booked into a hotel for 3 days to keep me safe from the tummy bug that my kids and grandy had gotten and also just some time for us. It had been a huge build up and we just wanted to enjoy life for a few days. It was my granddaughters 7th birthday party today so I was hoping to call in on her for a quick surprise before heading to our hotel. Dr Allen arrived at 10am as it was the weekend and he gave me the all clear to leave hospital without the drain that had only collected 20 mls throughout the last 24hours. He also told me that he had performed 4 tucks that week and mine had been the largest amount of skin taken at (3kgs). I am stoked that it was that much as we had talked about it being 1.5kg - 2 kgs at the most. Absolutely stoked!!!   After we got all sorted we left and headed to our sons place to surprise them for a few minutes. It was a lovely surprise and we spent a couple of hours just sitting enjoying a 7 year olds important day. It was lovely. We then headed off and got a few groceries on the way to the hotel. Arrived knackered but happy and crawled off to bed for the rest of the day.
Day 7 Today we headed back to see the kids and we went to church. I then stayed with my sons partner and their bub while Andy went off and did a few boys things with our boys. This was wayyyy toooo much to attempt to do for me and although I loved the day I would have been better off staying at the hotel and relaxing but I really did over do it.
For the next 3 days we just took it easy. On the Thursday (day 10) I went and saw Dr Allen who gave me the all clear to start driving again and said I could head home on the weekend. He said he would see me at the end of November.
Day 12  About 9am we started the 16 hour drive home. I drove for about 2 of them and we decided 3/4 of the way home we were nuts and we would stay over in Carnavon about 9 hours into the drive. It was so good to stop and stretch out on the bed. Definitely the thing to do! We had a smorgasbord dinner and a good sleep then headed off again about 9am the next morning. We got home about 2 and were very glad to see the hills of home come into view. Poor Andy was stuffed.
Frome then till now (day 21) I have just taken it easy. On day 16 I was allowed to remove the bandage covering the wounds which meant showering without blow drying them dry at the end of it. Small things make all the difference. I have to wear the compression bandage for another few weeks and that's fine even in this 40 degree heat lol. I will do anything it takes to have the best result.
I forgot to say that Andy asked me if there was anything I wanted from the shop. My answer..............yep I want some skimpy knickers cos for 25 years I have never had a pair that havent rolled down and hidden under the flap. (see the before photo). I now have 3 of the best pairs of lacy knicks and they sit on my belly. Wahoooo.
I will keep you posted as I go xx

Tummy has been tucked

2010-11-08T09:02:00.001+08:00

Day 1. On Monday the 18/10/2010 I arrived at St John of God hospital, Subiaco at 6.30am to start the mammoth journey of a tummy tuck. Dr Allen came and saw me about 7am and proceeded to draw all over my tummy and to try and give me a running commentary on what was going to happen. I say 'try' as I was in no frame of mind to hear all the details I just wanted to get it underway and not think about anything else other than to hope I woke up (general anaesthetics scare me). I waived bye to Andy and was wheeled into theatre about 8am, after the leg socks were put on.
I woke up to see a sea of faces and then drifted off again only to hear c'mon Dianne wake up. I remember thinking 'just leave me alone' and I became more irritated the more I kept getting disturbed. Every now and then I could hear Andy talk and what sounded like different medical staff talking shop around me but I was having a real problem waking up enough to concentrate or even care, a bit like when you are super tired and someone wants to wake you.
I remember seeing 3pm on the clock and waking long enough to see loads of people in my room (about 7 or 8) and I remember hearing someone say give her more of............. something in the form of drugs.
I woke up enough to focus about 4pm and felt like I had been run over and I felt really tight in my tummy but completely bearable just a bit of a weird feeling. I looked down to see my tummy completely bandaged but I was distinctly aware it was FLAT! Andy was talking to me and staff were talking to me and I remember smiling and thinking the world was a lovely place to wake up too then drifting off again. All night there were staff in my room and the obligatory medical checks were done.
By early the next morning I was having wakeful moment and it was then that the nurse told me I had had a reaction to the morphine and it was depressing my breathing making me breath only sporadically with as little as two breaths being taken per minute and up to 6. This only happened while I slept but it was enough to need a staff member to stay with me until I was wakeful enough to be left. I was pumped full of an opiate modifier to help get the morphine out of my system. At that time all I could think was 'man that ain't a bad way to go' lol but looking back now I think 'thank you God I never went to Thailand for this op'. Just imagine being in a foreign country with no way of getting home quickly and possibly having a language barrier! Suddenly saving a few $'s didn't really seem that important.
Day 2 I was more wakeful throughout the day. Eating and drinking normally with a catheter in and drains coming out of each side of me. The catheter hurt and I was most keen to get that out. Dr Allen came and saw me and said I would have it out the next day and I couldn't wait! Andy bought Caleb in to see me (our 14 year old). He had only been there for 20minutes when he put his head on my bed and said he felt really sick. Andy took him home and for the next 24 hours every member of my family (they were staying with my eldest son and his wife and daughter) vomited and had stomach pain including some diarrhea. Oh yes the timing was perfect!!! I started praying profusely that I wouldn't get it and and God answered as I still haven't had it.
My other focus was doing number 2's. I desperately wanted to be able to go easily given that any sort of bearing down or tummy muscle exercise was to be avoided so each meal for me consisted of as much fibre, fruit and veg as I could but having no fill in my band meant either behave or gain weight and after the money time and effort involved it was not an option to gain weight so I was and still am not allowing anything high in sugar or fat past my lips.
Day 3 The catheter is taken out and not a moment too soon. Wow was that thing awful. So now I wait to find out that my bladder is working again ok.I was painfully aware of course that to go to the loo now meant I had to walk there and that was causing me to break out in a sweat. Finally after what I thought was enough water and with the help of the nurse I was helped up and I tentatively shuffled to the toilet. It hurt and stung a bit (walking that is) but it was bearable and probably no worse that the cesar that I had years ago. To my utter delight I went for a pee. Now just if number 2's would happen I would feel like the world couldn't be a better place lol. I also was able to have my first shower. This was a mission. I got all I needed then shuffled to the en suite. There was a chair in the shower cubicle and I sat down after getting the shower temp right. It felt blissful. I reached up to take the hand held shower off its post and miscalculated how forceful the water was. The thing jumped out of my hand and snaked around the bathroom and then shot out the door which was open and lay on my bedroom floor spraying water at the ceiling. What a mess and how hard was it to move fast enough and retrieve the thing. What felt like hours later I had cleaned up, dried off and dressed and shuffled back to be exhausted but quietly content that I was definitely on the mend.
Day 4 Finally the break of dawn and day four was here. I looked forward to that time each day cos I knew I was a day closer to going home but I have to say that I was desperately enjoying the quiet time, the menu being delivered and what were really lovely meals. No phones, no visitors (apart from Andy who bought in some of the best takeaway cappuccino's I have ever had) and just generally being waited on hand and foot. I had a tv to watch and I just felt safe. Dr Allen came and saw me daily and reassured me that everything was now fine (after the morphine scare). Day 4 was also to be the big reveal day where my bandages would be taken off and I could see my tummy for the first time. Wow was I looking forward to this day starting! At about 2pm Dr Allen arrived with a nurse and I braced myself for the unwrap. Scared and not daring to believe that it was going to be 'that fabulous' but hoping upon hope that there would be a difference. As Dr Allen undid the compression bandage (Velcro on) there was silence as Andy and I gawked at my tummy. It was magnificent. So, so magnificent. I couldn't stop smiling all afternoon especially as I had my first fart indicating that maybe everything there was starting to burble back into shape. I shuffled off to the loo late on day 4 and another prayer was answered.
Dr Allen asked the nurse to take out my right side drain as in 24 hours it had only accumulated 10mls so this could now be removed. My toes curled as she snipped the stitch holding it into place and slowly proceeded to pull a foot of pipe out of me. It was definitely not a nice feeling but again it was manageable and with the panadol and trimodal I was taking I think the edge had been taken off my nerve system and I got through. Dr Allen said I may be going home tomorrow which was exciting but also a bit sad. No more meals delivered to me :( but other than that it was a perfect day!!!!
Day 5 This was a Friday and I thought it would be home day. Dr Allen came in saw that i had drained 30mls into the drain container and said he wanted to discharge me tomorrow and it would be with or without the drain being taken out. I didn't mind and relaxed for the rest of the day. I was now able to walk a lap of the ward and this helped me to go toilet daily. I weighed myself and I was 8kg lighter than when I was admitted on Monday. Not a bad loss. It cost $1000.00 per kilo and was worth every cent lol.
Even though I could walk easier than I had been after just a few minutes the skin felt tighter and tighter and I was still quite bent over. It still felt like a huge marathon to just do a small slow lap of the ward. Never the less I felt like i was slowly very slowly getting back to normal.
To be continued with photos. Stay tuned xx

Another Bandaversary

2010-09-11T07:12:00.003+08:00

Its now been three years since I had my band, Wow how time has gone by. I had a fill a couple of days ago and now have full on restriction again which is awful. I so wish I didnt have to have one but if I dont I just eat too much and all day long. I spoke to Dr Keirith about the tummy tuck and he thinks I should lose more weight but I think Ill be right about where I am now so thats ok with me although it did unsettle me for sure. He also suggested I have it done in Thailand which was surprising but he said they are top Drs and faultless hospitals way above the quality in Australia. It has got me thinking again as to weather that should be an option to look at. Eeeeeek dunno. Itll cost $5k as opposed to $13k for a boob job thats flights hotel and surgery. Huge difference. Dunno something to think on. I did get to see some Thai handiwork in the form of my friends boob job andI have to say I would have been pretty impressed if they were mine. She is delighted so ...................................................watch this space.
Not much else to report. Hope you are all ok. Blog ya soon xx

2010-08-27T04:16:00.003+08:00

Its been a funny time since I put up the last post about a tummy tuck. I am really shocked at the bitchy jealousy remarks/snigger's I have had particularly from some work colleagues. I'm really shocked. I would be genuinely pleased if not a little envious of someone being able to have some plastic surgery if that's what they wanted and would make them feel better about themselves but and I'm sorry to say woman, are truly their own worst enemies. Do we as woman really think that having a snarly attitude towards each other when one of us wants to do this is ok? I don't get it. If I could get through to myself and truly believe that the huge flap of skin hanging off my stomach isn't effecting my life and my 80yr old boobs (Dr said that to me when I was 24) were just fine and didn't bother me everytime I took off my clothes I would put myself through 7 hours of surgery and 6 weeks of intense recovery? Never mind the huge expense! Why cant we just be happy for each other or at least pretend.
I really wish I had of just shut up and did it all quietly only to be bombarded with attitude and 'looks' from my work mates. I feel really gutted. I know I know its jealousy and bitchiness but its also a let down.
Moving on. I have decided to change surgeons as I got to see (very graphically) a ladies surgical photos of a surgeon that I had met a couple of years ago and really liked. He is roughly the same price and I feel better about using him so thats now all booked in. This lady has lost an amazing 110kgs and so as you can imagine had huge amounts of skin to trim off. She is a real inspiration to me and although she still battles her fat demons its been great to have her to sound off with.
Well will update again in a couple of weeks. Cheers to you all particulare the non knockers xx

2010-08-07T15:06:00.005+08:00

Hello all, its been agesssss and kilo's since we last talked lol. Well its been 6 kg UP thats UP not the other way but I seem to be behaving so I hope to drop them over the next few weeks. The exciting news is ........................................... Im booked in for a tummy tuck on the 27th Oct. Very excited and scared and nervous about that! Very! It will be done in Perth and the op lasts for 6 hours and I will be in hosp for 10 days! Obviously all that says its gonna be a big day or two afterwards. The surgeon will remove about 3kg from my tummy and said that is equal to about a 20kg loss from the abdomen. Woo hoo for that. I will keep you posted on the stages and if I can get some non graphic photos loaded I will xx

2010-06-26T12:13:00.003+08:00

A couple of days ago I rang our local medical centre and asked if there were any doctors there that could loosen the band for me and ..............heypresto! I went and saw him yesterday and asked him to remove 2mls cos it had been 7 weeks since I ate anything other than chips (crisps) chocolate and flavoured milk. Do you know how little you need to gain wieght. Well lets just say in 7 weeks I put on 1 kilo. The Dr was hesitant for me to dictate how much to take out and I must admit when I saw how much 2 mls was I know I got it wrong. I also have to say that within and hour i went to Mcdonalds and ate a big mac. AHHHHHHHHH but oh my it was delicious lol. I decided that yesterday would just be a free day and today I would eat to lose wieght which for me is always a high protein number so thats where I am at today. Right now i feel like if I ever taste anything sweet or chips again it will be a day way too soon. I def still have restriction but not like it should be, Not to worry I am just gonna enjoy the wee break before I freak out and go back to Keirith for another fill. Blog ya soon xx

2010-06-21T07:12:00.003+08:00

Hello hello. As my sister has dutifully reminded me its been a long time since I last blogged. I cant believe its nearly hit the two month mark. Maybe its because weight loss wise I have come to a standstill with a capital S. Or maybe its because I still HATE exercising and haven't done any apart from ride my bike whilst getting the dogs to run beside me which makes me feel super duper unfit because although my dogs are themselves super unfit I am unfitter (if that's even a word).
I met with a lady that I have only just got to know yesterday to talk with her the life as a bander as she is thinking of having one. I could see the hopelessness in her face as she talked about her weight struggles and her hopes of winning the battle once and for all. It reminded me so much of me almost three years ago and how i remember so well what that felt like. I think in years to come we are going to be astounded we had such a barbaric way of helping someone to lose weight because I am sure with time we will develop some magic pill or potion to achieve permanent weight loss but until then I still see this surgery as such a God send to those of us who cannot achieve results any other way.
The band is really tight right now in fact I know its too tight because of what I can and cant fit down and its not doing me any favours as I can only eat liquids most of the time and for some reason I can eat battered fish however take the batter away and I have no chance of keeping even a mouthful down. Dam it is odd. So my diet consists of a lot of flavoured milks and battered fish. I have had a go at catching my dinner and managed to get a couple yesterday but oh my gosh you wouldn't believe how much I have been chewed up by sand flies which I have learnt don't bite you but scratch you then piss in the scratch!! Ah ha hmm mmm thats a pleasant thought isnt it lol. Well all I can say is they must have had really full bladders cos I have huge lumps on me. Nothing seems to kill the itch. So, the best place and cheapest place to get some fish from is Woollies I have decided. By the time you get to the fishing whole. Slap on copious amounts of block and shit to get the sand flies to stay away (obviously that didn't work anyway) and lose boot loads of hooks and tackle some fresh snapper from Woollies seems to be the go.
Until next time take care xx

2010-04-26T07:46:00.002+08:00

Hello all.
I had a fill on Wed. Really laboured over weather to go or not. I was able to eat a small meal of only bad choice foods and decided that I would go on a protein diet instead of a fill but then after eating numerous plain biscuits (good choice) stuck together with a slice of butter (bad choice) I thought I would go and fill the band some more. I was dreading the scales as I have come to avoid them since Nov 09 and as I have no idea what I weight I wasn't keen on getting on Dr Keirith huge weighing station ones. The last weigh in I had was at the Dr's and it was 88kg a few weeks ago but I have felt like I have put some on just by the clothes and the muffin top. Anyway I walked in and you beauty he has no scales. Ripper. So I have no idea what I weighed and I don't plan on finding out yet. I am back onto slushy food and liquids which is bad bad bad for constipation but its all I can manage so far. I have made some fab soups to eat in this cooler 38 degree climate lol.
Will keep you posted on it all though. xx for now

2010-03-29T13:19:00.002+08:00

We went out to Gregorys Gorge on Saturday for the day. Wow it was hard going. Caleb (13) was just starting to get a bug which we didnt know was coming. I had just finished a night shift so was not really in what one would call high spirits and our driver talks a lot which is great if your not really tired and a sick kid is brewing in the back. We thought we would shoot out there have a look and a swim then head back. It turns out that the 4x4 track is only about 30ks but took just under 2 hours to get through (bugger about the whiplash). But the gorge is oh my gosh soooo beautiful. It is like a oasis in the middle of the desert. If you were lost out there you would literally die from thirst but the gorge could be just a few hundred metres away from you and you would miss it. We will go back and camp one day when it is cooler for sure.
The band seems to be a bit looser now so will have a fill in the next few weeks. Menopause (at 43) has hit with a vengence. I thought it was a piece of piss until last week when the hot flushes hit. OH MY LORD. We as woman are just ripped off. I am hoping beyond hope that they dont last long.
Nothing else to report. Add me as a friend on facebook if you want to check out the photos of the gorge trip. Just search Dianne Moar. xx Blog ya

2010-03-23T06:25:00.002+08:00

I never went to the Dr. I ummmed and ahhhed about it for a few days then thought how silly I was being getting a fill when I am already restricted. We are going to Perth for a few days over Easter and I thought how miserable it would be to only be able to sip fluids for the whole time, So I have to stop eating M and Ms and drinking litres of ice coffee and behave. Ha .......................too easy!
Yesterday was a terrible drive to work. I am one (I don't really know anyone else who is as hopeless as me) of those people who only seem to see stuff when I am driving over the top of it which explains a couple of cyclists a few years ago. I'm alright on the road its just well other people who may not be. Yesterday I'm looking at this whole group of about 20 birds sitting on the road and I'm thinking 'stupid birds why do you leave it till the last minute. One of these days you are gonna leave it too late to fly off ' by the time I had finished thinking all that I had driven over the top of them and i realised it was some sort of flightless bird with lots of chicks. It was so awful. There were bits of birds flying (s'cuse the pun) up everywhere. I felt so bad that I bawled the rest of the way to work lol.
We just had our house all landscaped. So glad to get rid of the red dirt. Such a relief. Sadly one of our dogs thinks hes really smart bringing us a plant so today I am off to buy some chili paste and I am going to smear it all over the retic and plants in the hope that will deter him.
We went camping the last two weekends at Millstream which is a national park. Its really lovely there which is hard to see when you are from a magnificent country like NZ but after 10 years of Perth and sand for dirt I can really appreciate Millstream. The problem was the heat at night. Andy and I were sitting up at midnight dipping our clothes into our esky which still had some ice in it then putting our clothes back on. So hot and soooo many bugs. Still it was a neat experience but next time I think we will probably go in winter.
No more news from me. Hope all is well with you. Blog ya soon xx

2010-03-09T19:12:00.002+08:00

Im going for a fill on Friday. Not sure why as I am already tight but itll get a few kilos off before I go for a trip back to Perth which will be good.
I just finished my third night shift and man it takes it out of me. Must be an age thing but I am completely knackered. Wish I could win lotto as everyone else does. Oh well.
My days at work have not been anywhere near the last post so thats a good thing. It was all about working with a woman who measures her penis daily. She really gets off in acting like some king kong and that day she picked the wrong person on the wrong day. By the end of the day although I didnt have an apology she was very very pleasant to me cos I think she knew her game was up (probably cos I told her as much). It all makes me sound big and tough which Im not I have more of a problem of not being able to keep my mouth shut so people think I will take on anything and although that is probably closer to the truth than I care to think it still affects me particularly a day or two later when I find I get really down and emotional and I get itchy. Must be like a nervous rash or something so anyway I worked with her last night and she was fine. The amazing thing is how many of the other staff patted me on the back and said they really cheered me on when I tore her down and that they were glad someone finally did it. How many people put up with shit and say nothing which begs my question. How do they sleep at night cos if I dont deal with something I wake up whacking the pillow or I wake all the time having vivid dreams about the person pissing me off. I dont know how people just let it go. I do wish at times I could because I can be more of a person to fear than to like which makes me sad sometimes. Another oh well! Hope you are all well. Will post again after my fill. Ohhhh and I am going to talk to him about a tummy tuck.

2010-03-02T22:08:00.002+08:00

I HAD A COMPLETELY ****** DAY. YEP I MEAN SUPER ******! I AM GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT IT WHEN I HAVE CALMED DOWN AND CAN BREATHE EVENLY AGAIN. PITY I CANT (COS ITS WRONGGGG) PUNCH SOMEONE IN THE HEAD. TYPING IN CAPITALS SO IT FEELS LIKE I AM YELLING BUT OF COURSE IM NOT COS ITS LATE AND EVERYONE IS ASLEEP. ONE POWERBALL JUST ONE. I WOULD SETTLE FOR 1/4 RIGHT NOW

2010-03-02T22:07:00.002+08:00

I cant change photos or add photos cos my computer is half broken ( the other half lets me blog ) Will get a new one one day!

Fishing Advice

2010-02-25T13:09:00.003+08:00

I just had to put this up here. I have banged on a bit about fishing lately and my darling sister who isnt really much of a outdoorsy sorta person (I dont think) but her husband is a big time hunter/fisher type sent me this email

Further to your fishing expedtitions......................
To save the fish from flapping around and to make them last longer you are best to ikky them (WTF). Take a screw driver with you when you go fishing and when you catch a fish put a handtowel (yeah thats right a handtowel) over them and they calm down. Now for the good bit. Then take the screwdriver (uh oh) and stick it in their heads (ouch that has gotta hurt) above their eye and down towards their jaw. Thats where their brain is and it puts them out of their misery (thank goodness for that) Then she writes. Sucks the first couple of times but then you get the hang of it.

Im just going to go to the fish and chip shop. Thanks anyway Bonnie xxxx

2010-02-24T18:33:00.002+08:00

Isnt it funny when you feel you are gaining wieght and are just too scared to even hop on the scales then you go to the Dr and he says 'step on the scales' and when I did....................................................................I hadnt put on hardly anything compared to what I thought. I was 87kg and I was sure i was up to about 95. Im so relieved and Im going to try harder and leave the alcohol alone for a night or two,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,nah just one night to start with lol. I have just gotton back from fishing. Friggen KMart fishing rods. $50 buys you a good day of fishing then the whole sucker just explodes in your hands and the winder bit flew of the jetty and some screws when shooting off in another direction. So no more fishing until I get me a good rod. I just love it though. Its a pity I never liked it as a kid as mum and dad were both avid fisherman. Ah well I never liked cauliflour either but I do now lol. xx

2010-02-23T21:43:00.002+08:00

Thanks for all your positive comments and e mails about the smoking blog. I felt like a real bitch for moaning about it but then someone said to me today that they got shit for taking a 10 min toilet break (cant hurry these things) from some of the other staff. Let them say that to me and see the fireworks lol.
Different note. Going to Dr tomorrow to get my thyroid checked on the minuscule chance its ground to a halt. I cant seem to shift weight even when I am relatively good and eat tiny amounts so I will check it out and I am also going to have acupuncture for weight loss (just cos I can) lol. Will let you know how that all goes.
Went fishing today with Caleb and caught lots of stuff but shit the gutting and scaling and filleting sucks in fact enough to make me go vego. Seeing those poor fish flap around gave me fishing guilt big time. I even kept apologising as I crunch around in their mouths to get the hook out. Eeek gross. xxxx

2010-02-22T11:22:00.003+08:00

Well its taken me 10 weeks but its finally happened as I knew it would. I have finally blown my stack at a couple of colleagues and are probably going to get ostracized now and.............................. care factor 0! I had been sooooo good. Just saw things and heard things and thought nup not going to say anything, who cares, shut up, grin and bare it etc but yesterday after doing two night shifts last week and then a party appearance the night before which led to a 1 am bedtime only to get up again at 0620 for work I got a bit shaky on my be quiet policy and completely flew off the fucken handle. Here's the thing. I don't care if you smoke. I don't care if that's what you want to do shit I use to easily puff away 35 or 40 a day so I am fully aware that its a habit that's as bad to break as heroin. There is a couple of things I expect smokers would just do. Here they are If you see me and you are smoking well excellent but don't blow it in my face, If I'm in a room don't walk in with a smoke lit and if you are in my car don't light up which also goes for inside my house other than that knock yourself out. I don't think that's unreasonable. I don't think that's discriminatory . Being asthmatic is a bitch and having it bought on by someone else's smoke is a bigger bitch. Well I learnt something else that pisses me off, that the amount of times I am asked to cover someone else's job so they can 'pop out for a quick fag' is shit! Its just the expected thing. I don't ask for 15 minutes every hour for a fresh air break so why should I have to do the work load of two or sometimes three other colleagues so they can stand outside fagging all the day! Last night at 6pm the night shift officer walks in. (She left a note the previous night complaining that certain people hadn't gotten everything done on the previous shift that I was on). She says hello puts her stuff down logs onto the computer then says at 6.10pm can you just watch the office (it can not be left unattended) while I pop out for a quick smoke. 35 minutes later I'm still waiting for her to return from the group meeting/smoke break outside so I can finish my really busy day that I now have to get done in half the time I had. Is it unreasonable to feel so pissed off? I know now (because probably 85% of officers where I am smoke) that I will be labelled some sort of smokophobic. But I just don't think its reasonable to have the expectation to just stand outside for what tallies up to 3 or 4 hours of a 12 hour work day while someone else covers your arse or at the least has the stress of trying to get their own job done while carrying them. What do you think? I know there is no answer to this because smoking is a huge force to be reckoned with within the workplace but it still sucks (oh no thats the smokers lol)
Vent over with!

2010-02-19T15:12:00.002+08:00

Im sitting here on hold to Centrelink. Did you know that its free to register for online access. YESSSSS cos the freaken machine has told me 5 x in the last 5 minutes but I have to stay on hold to do that dont I GRRRRRR Anyway I just wanted to tell you that a Chrunchie, a ice coffee, a froggo and a mango a day is enough calories for you to gain weight steadily I know cos its happening to me. My work pants are getting tight. Starting to freak out. Dont anyone suggest I give up my chrunchie ice coffee or froggo (ok I will give up the mango cos it gets stuck anyway) becuase that would be like........................um the normal thing to do. Ok going to find me a diet Froggo! xx

2010-02-15T07:42:00.002+08:00

Its been such a long time between posts I doubt if anyone is following this anymore. Time goes on and I am sooo over dieting, exercising. gains, losses, restrictions getting food stuck then wishing food would get stuck. The band is as tight as it should be but I can still get around it by eating anything fried or coated in chocolate or I drink the calories or I eat and drink the calories and the end result is I am slowly but very surely gaining. Im wondering what the point is to it all at the moment. Obviously the point is to lose wieght but its just depressing! I havent been near the scales in weeks and dont plan on it cos I dont want to know the significant end result but I can tell by my clothes its sliding up. I was hoping somewhere hot to live would help but I just drink the calories. I thought walking the dogs would help but its too hot lol. Shit shit shit. Actually Im not feeling nearly as bad as it sounds I just am so over the whole THINKING wieght all the time. If I spent as much time thinking about anything else I would be committed to a funny farm I am sure.
We have been fishing almost everyday and have caught some beaut fish almost each time but the only way to eat them for me is to dish them in Tempura batter and fry in olive oil (thats gotta be healthy) and they just slip on through. I tried baking them the other day and they got stuck. I can even eat chips with them! Oh yay.
I hope you are all well and acheiving your own goals (show offs) xxx for now

2009-12-21T17:37:00.002+08:00

Hi all. Its raining here today I guess with it being the wet season and all. I have had a really confronting week. We came to Karratha with my daughter and her husband who got work the day after we arrived and are doing really well. Emma is 21 and very overwieght now. I have watched her slowly lose her confidence with every kilo gained and it just really upsets me. She had her work party this weekend and I was out shopping when I ran into her. She was shopping for a dress. I could see at first glimse that she was struggling with it and when I rubbed her arm and said 'want me to hang out with her and help you' she just burst into tears. I had forgotton those days of misery but in that instant I was right back there. I was again 20 years old standing in a flash dress shop when the woman behind the counter looked up and screeched across the entire shop 'we dont have your SIZE in here' and the shame that engulfed me. I once again felt the horrible shame of standing at racks not being able to find a size 22 and sweating trying to heave my frame into something that didnt stand a show of getting on. Now, I am standing before one of four of my most treasured possessions feeling the pain so well. I cant discuss this with her because the times I have tried she is very defensive and full of pain but this particular day I as gently as I possibly could said to her 'hon let me help you and walk with you a while through this'. So fast forward three days later and we are doing the whole healthy eating and walking thing. I have also said to her if in a year she is in the same place then I will pay for her to have WLS because I truly dont believe she can lose it AND keep it off so if WLS is her saviour I fully support her. Presently she is not in the place where she will consider it which at 21 I think is just fine but I dont want her to wade through 20 years of shameful, painful heartbreak and then have it done. Will keep you posted.

We have arrived

2009-12-13T17:08:00.002+08:00

I haven't disappeared I just let time run off with me. Since my last blog we have moved to Karratha. We set out last Friday night at 10pm with our two dogs Murphy and lilli. We left Rockingham after a stop at McDonald's for an ice coffee. We arrived at Geralton about 4.45am. Id had enough by then and I hadnt even got behind the wheel. It was nice and cool at least. We gave the dogs a wee stop and fuelled up then hit the road again. We had numerous stops to give the dogs a break and then reached Carnavon about 12.00. Man it was getting hot. We decided to move all of the stuff on the back seat to the Ute tray and put the dogs on the back seat so they had the air con too. It was enough to do our head in because they wanted to play. We kept plugging on and after more road side stops we hit Karratha at about 6pm. I have never been so glad to see a town come into sight as I was that night. We were met at our accommodation by someone from work who kindly turned on the air con for us. What a relief that was as the heat was something we hadn't experienced before. That was last sat night. Monday our furniture arrived and we got the keys to our house which is huge and cool with air con in every room. A big day unpacking and sorting. Wed our second car arrived. We flushed the loo for the first time and the whole system backed up. turns out a massive plumbing job was needed and the plumbers spent the whole day digging up our yard. Red dirt EVERYWHERE! So that's it. We are here and I am constantly sweeping up red dust as the house isn't being landscaped for a few weeks. The dogs don't know what the hell has hit them and spend all day lying in their paddle pool. Andy is back at work and I am back on Tues. bummer its all over ( Weight wise. Well I have managed to whack on about 4kgs. I honestly don't know how but I guess the drinks are the problem. Not alcohol (mostly not) just juices and anything else cold I have. I'm over it right now and will deal with it after Christmas. I'm quite restricted but obviously not enough. Well I'm off for a walk with the dogs now but keep checking in cos I will blog again..........promise xxxx

2009-11-04T20:45:00.002+08:00

What a month its been since my last post. I managed (drum roll please) to gain 6 yes SIX kilos in six weeks!!!!! What a farking success story I am! So I decided to go see Dr Fill who was shocked and thought 'Ill teach the guts a lesson" and gave me a fill from hell. My first day back on duty and I had to sign off a lunchtime so I could get to Dr Fills office for a unfill so I could swallow. I seem to be at a comfortable place now.
We are moving to Karratha on the 05/12/09 which is super exciting (and Dr Fill) works up there once a month. The movers came in today and measured up for the move. We went and bought a 4x4 Holden Rodeo twin cab (yawn its a boring old white car to me) but it will be fun to go bush bashing lol.
We have been offered a 4x2 house in Karratha that is brand new so am most excited about that. Our daughter and husband are moving with us so that will be lovely to..........................I think! Long time since we lived together eeeeek. Will post again soon. xxxxxx

2009-10-03T08:48:00.003+08:00

Well for all my poxing on about not getting a fill I lasted a week. When I went and had a Grand Angus burger from Mcdonalds (it was really good) I decided that after 2 years of the band I have learnt nothing and needed to get a fill put in. I went on Thurs to see Dr Fill and he gave me one till the needle couldnt get another drop in (8.9mls) and now I am so tight I cant have a drink AHHHHHHHHHH. For all those that read this you will be thinking Im nuts but you know after 2 years of this journey the thought of being able to just eat and not be in control or feel full is scarey. Its so easy to be a diet expert if you havent battled like truly obese people do and to be honest I am still one of those experts even when I cant get my own crap together. If someone says to me anything about dieting I give them a whole run down on what they should or shouldnt be doing only I cant get it together myself or take my own advice. I managed to put 4 kilos on in just over a week without the fill and for 7 of the 9 days I was really really good food wise. So I dont know whats up with that. Anyway I will soldier on and in a couple of days will be able to eat small and drink again. I am off to Qld in Nov to be a matron of honour for my friend. Very exciting to be going over there. So must get off to look for a dress. Blog you soon xxxx

2009-09-27T00:31:00.002+08:00

Hi ya, Well its been quite a week. I had the novasure procedure on Wed morning. I was booked in as a private patient amongst a whole stack of other ladies. It was a real cattle station. Just all lying around waiting to have our uterus' zapped. Anyway I was third on the list and before too long was wheeled off to the operating theatre. I love that feeling of being put to sleep. Just drifting off but let me tell you that's about where the fun stopped cos when I came too I had very little balance and was vomiting like there was no tomorrow. Not to worry though I was bundled up into the car and sent home (cos that's what ya do when you are a busy hospital) Man I have been sick. The procedure took 90 seconds (that's the true amount of time to do the zap) but its Sunday and I am still trying to stem the nausea and imbalance thing. Apparently I have had some sort of allergic reaction to the morphine so its a case of just riding it out. And what a ride it is. Pity it feels like a roller coaster. I had all my fill taken out on Monday, She took out 10mls. That left me 1 ml to get food down. No wonder I was unable to eat much. However, now woo hoo. I have eaten oranges and mandarins and rockmelon like there is no tomorrow. I had Brussels sprouts and prawns and fries for tea. Andy bought me this machine called a Teflon actifry and it makes the best chips and wedges I have ever had in only a tablespoon of oil. They are delicious and just like deep fried (REALLY)!!
I am suppose to have my fill put back on Thurs but am seriously thinking of just leaving it out for a while. I know I will put a bit of weight on but the pay off would be to have some good nutrition and give my body a break. After two years of throwing up I feel like giving myself a break and the other thing is that I have forgotten what an amazing thing our bodies are. I have just had my womb zapped to stop it ever producing another bub and I have cursed those periods big time but this last week has got me feeling quite nostalgic about what a wonderful service my body has given to me and how even after I have starved it for two years it is still working for me and functioning for me and being faithful to me. I am feeling like the least I could do is feed it up on some fresh fruit and veges. Well that's how I feel tonight. Who knows by Thurs what Ill be thinking lol

2009-09-17T17:18:00.003+08:00

I made it! Got through 7 nights and didnt have a melt down although i am certainly still trying to catch up on some sleep now. Some of them were dreadful and some of them were just down right fun (well as much fun as working can be). We have one tosser of a Senior Officer who took it upon himself to pick on me and that made a really hard few days. Then one of the nights I had to watch cameras all night to the point I felt like I was going to go cross eyed. Anyway who cares its all done and now we are on 6 weeks holidays. We arent going anywhere but (dont hold me to this) we are going to spend the whole time doing the gym and running and walking and cycling thing eeeeek. I am getting a new bike for my birthday so am looking forward to treadling around the place.

My weight is about the 82kg mark still. I dont really look too much now. I just am happy that I feel ok with how I feel.

20/09/09
Update. I am off to have my entire fill removed so I can have a Novasure procedure on Wednesday. This makes me really nervous. A, because I wont have any restriction and that means the sky is the limit for me food wise and b, because I always think I am gonna die when I have an operation so am freaking out about that.
ITs just a fairly minor thing but it does still freak me out. Hopefully its going to mean no more periods so it will be worth it (except if I die lol)
Will blog again after thursday to update you xxx

2009-09-08T22:27:00.003+08:00

I am about to start 7 nights straight so thought I better update this real quick cos after about two I am gonna feel like I have lost my mind let alone 7. Don't know what the hell I was thinking by shift swapping into all those nights. Oh well when its over I get 6 weeks holidays woo hoo. Band is pissing me off right now. Its tight but not quite tight enough but after the last fill and having to get some out not really wanting to get anymore in. Not sure what to do. I have gone up 2 kgs which is a good indicator of needing more in but maybe just a half. Spose to be having my girlie op on the 23rd so will need all the fill out for that however things have really settled down after all these months of being outta whack. Always the way isn't it. Alicia our new grand baby is lovely. Still cant believe my son is a dad at 18 and still feel gutted for him in lots of ways but he is happy and doing great so who am i to feel bad for him. Our other granddaughter Kimberley keeps asking if we still love her. Ohhhhh kids. She just about took the top of her finger off in a door yesterday so has it all stitched back up and bandaged. Some heavy duty spoiling by Nanna is coming her way lol. Not much else to catch you up on. Will blog again when I am on holidays. Oh oh really exciting my in laws are buying me a push bike for my birthday. I am really excited about that. I have an old one but am looking forward to a better one and may try cycling to work from time to time. I am trying to get fitter but I hate it so its hard to get excited by it. Blog ya xxx

2009-08-26T17:29:00.002+08:00

Woo hoo only 17 more days and I am on holidays. Oh hip hip hooray. We cant wait. I think its been about 2.5years since I have had a holiday and even though we aren't going anywhere I am sooooo looking forward to swimming and walking the dogs and lying in. Yippee. Going to have an obliteration instead of a hysterectomy so only 3 days for that recovery.
Weight is swaying around the 82kg mark. I think I am just about done. Not really going to lose anymore I don't think actually I am kind of happy with where I am at. I keep thinking when will enough be enough? I work with a bander and she is completely fucked in the head about her weight to the point we (that's her and I) think she is anorexic, Her wee statements like eating is overrated is a bit of a give away to her state of mind. Anyway its making me think I could easily get to the same state as her and I need to evaluate where I am going with my own goals and if I will really ever reach them. So, I have pretty much decided that if I can maintain where I am at then I have arrived! Its been two years next week since I started my band life. I cant believe its been that long. Its been quite a ride. Certainly a lot of downs but more ups I think. I will always be grateful for it that's for sure. When I go on my holidays I am starting to get my exercising back on track (well I say that now). Its so hard to get motivated. But that is the plan............................................... for today!
Will blog you soon xxxx

2009-08-19T16:19:00.003+08:00

A huge week has just passed.
Firstly our second Granddaughter Alicia was born on the 14/08. Gorgeous but a rough start so its great she is fairing better.
I had a fill last week which became so tight that I couldn't swallow. I put up with it for 5 days but had it released yesterday and now am enjoying fluids again. 81.5kg on the scales which is a thrill albeit from starvation lol .
Work has been full on. We have put our names down on a transfer list hoping to get an offer of either Broome or Roebourne. Its a great package and an adventure. Hope it can work out. Good chance as they need officers up there.
lastly to top of my week the Dr told me I am in menopause. What a rip off that is! 42years old. Pffffft. and he added that I will have to look out for Osteoporosis (don't even know how to spell it lol. What the hell am I looking for?
Well thats it from me. Hope you are well. xxxx me
PS Check out the two new photos right at the bottom of the page xx

2009-08-08T09:27:00.002+08:00

Morning all. Well either the Tamiflu was amazing or I didnt have swine flu unless you can get super mild cases. I have felt all week just generally unwell but the only thing that has been a complete pain in the arse well its my ears actually. They are so sore and blocked but nothing else so I dont think it was the flu/ Anyways I guess it pays to be cautious. (and spend lots of long days tucked up in bed with books and coffees and bickies and ice cream.................oops did I say ice cream lol) My band is now really quite relaxed. Going from very little food to a small meal is quite scary for me but I enjoying not looking at the bottom of the toilet bowl. Still quite restricted till about 4pm then I can eat up.
Im back at work on monday so I am going to try and get my ears sorted and unblocked by then with any luck.
My sons baby was due yesterday but she is running late.
My lab pups are chewing everything and anything. Murphy even waits for the door to open and makes a mad dash in, grabs what ever he can reach (usually the broom) and runs for his life back outside. I tell you it really is his cuteness that saves his life lol. We are off to the beach soon as they have both discovered water and just love it.
Andy is sitting his citizenship test on monday and isnt too hopeful on being able to pass it. You get a book on aussie facts and then you have to answer a few random questions out of it.
Well no more news from me . Blog you soon xx oink

2009-08-03T21:12:00.002+08:00

Hey...........................I have swine flu! 7 days quarantine for me. So I have my supply of Tami flu and bed and tv. Sounds like bliss doesnt it lol. As long as it doesnt develop anymore then Ill be right. There are 4 confirmed cases at work so I guess it had to be a pretty big risk to us working there. Still have an appetite though and just mild flu syptoms. Will let you know how I go. Back to bed for me.
PS must get a wee bell to ring for my man nurse lol lol lol

2009-08-01T18:14:00.002+08:00

Hi all. Well I can now eat full on again. Suddenly I can eat anything and a lot more than I have been able to up until now. Not sure what thats about but I am enjoying having meals again lol. I am down to about 83 - 84kg. In 7 weeks I am having a hysterectomy (mmm somthing to look forward to on my holidays) so I will have most of the fill taken out for that. A bit scary for sure. I am expecting to be a Nana to my sons bub any day now. Cant believe it but am trying to cos its going to happen lol.
I just made some breakfast muffins ( bacon and cheese) and have only just noticed that I misread the recipe and put in 2 cups too little of the flour. No wonder they look more like pancakes than muffins. Oh well. lol. Hubby and boy still eat them. Mind you they eat pretty much anything. No other news from me. Our pups are doing great. They love the beach and park so thats a good bit of exercise for me too. Blog ya soon xxxx

2009-07-19T19:50:00.002+08:00

Hello all. I was talking to my brother the other day and he said he liked this blog cos it was light. Ha, its funny how at times i feel like a total whinger and he sees it as light. My sister also likes catching up with it but I never really know what to put so i hope you aren't all bored senseless. Its been a big weekend and week to come. I gave my son and his girlfriend a baby shower today. She is due it two weeks (this is the one who told me Christmas eve I was gonna be a Nana) and now the time is almost here. Amazing how quick it goes. She looks quite uncomfortable but it got me thinking how when I was pregnant I looked like a beached whale unlike this tiny wee girl who still fits her pre preggy jeans! 21 years ago today I was over due to give birth to my girl. I gained only 6kg throughout the pregnancy but as I was already over 100kg it didn't really matter. The pregnancy before hers I gained just under 70kgs yep that's right 70 kilos in one pregnancy, I managed to gain 5 kg in 3 days at one stage. Fuck i was stupid. I really thought the weight just somehow fell off when you had the baby and it does except for the fact that 24 years later I am finally lighter than the day I gave birth to him! Glad those days are over. So, this Thursday is my girls 21st. We are going out to tea which is something that I dread given that I cant even manage an entree size most days. Oh well will wrap whatever it is up and pop it in my bag for the dogs I guess. My mother in law is a bit shocked at how anti social the band is. I don't give a toss really. Its a small price to pay to stay on top of it. I think its a bit unnerving for her when I get up and down to the loo all the time. I must say that I have craved stuffing my face and not chucking. I still don't get anorexia. Im sure I must just about be one and I cant shift those scales. Im a plateaued anorexic lol. In saying that today is the first day since my last fill that I have really eaten heaps. I mean really heaps. 2 pikelets with jam and cream and two pieces of cream cake and a sausage roll and some other stuff too. Its that time of the month and for some reason
I get a day when it on and I can really eat without chucking. Will be gone tomorrow so just have to enjoy the break out while I can.
Friday my in laws go home. I will miss them. I really love having family over. I wish they were closer or we were. It makes me homesick but at least this time I don't go to the airport as I am working so I wont be a blubbering mess. Saturday is Emma's 21st birthday party in a 70's theme. That should be fun. Well no more news from me. Blog you soon. xx The overweight anorexic

2009-07-14T08:37:00.002+08:00

Hey Ho, How are you all? Isn't it terrible how we take things for granted. You know just little everyday things but when they go wrong Oh My what a drama it is. Things like pooing for instance. I never think about it.................. Feel the urge and off I go except I cant go and now I have a whole lot of stuff natural and otherwise to get me back on track which is all very well until you get hit with the uh oh moment while you are out. Ok so you get the message on that one. My in laws are here from NZ at the moment. We have been doing the tourist things which brings me to my next bitch. I took them on a huge drive 5 hours to the southern most point of WA where there is a lighthouse. Its not all that interesting but the Southern and the Indian ocean meet so Im thinking that might be a cool place to take the sight see'ers. We get there (I'm shattered from the marathon driving effort) only to find a notice saying it is $5 per adult to stand on the grounds and $3 per child. What the! That is bullshit, I understand a gold coin donation but $23 to stand on some grass. I don't think so. So, we went and had Chinese instead. My mother in law thinks the band is terribly anti social as I had to keep going to the loo. It really does get me down a bit too but that's just the price of it I guess.
Now for bitch number 3. My 18 yr old son (the one that is going to be a dad in 4 weeks) has been laid off from his job. So the local paper ran an article about him standing on the side of the highway with a sign that says 'hire me'. The article clearly says ' my only negative is I do not have my drivers licence'. He gets 4 offers of jobs all saying you need you drivers licence. Grrrrrrr. Anyway that's my bitch for today. Now I am off to take him around the local CBD to see if he can get some work. If you are reading this and know some labouring type work going in Perth South then please leave me a message.
PS I can eat pork crackle without it getting stuck .mmmmmmmmm..

2009-06-23T08:07:00.002+08:00

Morning all. Cant believe nearly a month has gone past and I havent blogged. Its been a shit month for me personally but thats a whole different Oprah show!
Band is still really restricted although I have decided that the studies are right and alcohol must be INCREDIBLY fattening cos I hardly manage food but have been drinking quite a bit and so the scales just stopped moving down and even swing a bit up grrrrr. So, I have pushed the Kahlua to the back of the cupboard and havent bought anymore red but have bought diet coke to have with the vodka.
I have had two weeks off work and was going to walk everyday but those two weeks are almost up and alas the only place I have walked it to the driveway to get into the car.
Oh oh most exciting news is my friend who is having a new WLS. She is part of a trial and its costing her nothing (but the hard work that goes with WLS). I dont know what the procedure is exactly but Im so thrilled for her and excited about our future shopping trips woo hoo. Ha I havent actually seen her in over 11 years so itll be a good one lol.
I have added a couple of shots of our news pups. Cant replace Bella but Murphy and Lilly are so much fun. Right well must be off and get back into my shit month. Will blog again soon. Hope you are all doing great.

2009-06-03T11:14:00.002+08:00

Hello all. The scales are resting tentatively on 86kg today. Probably will sway up a bit by the end of the day then down again tomorrow but I'm ok with 86kg. The band is still super tight although I have learnt to drink my meals well and I can eat nuts so me and my bag of cashews go many places hand in hand.
My news today is (apart from the 86kg) that I am writing a book. Probably called something along the lines of Dianne's bariatric journey or something lol, In fact if you can think of a good name Id love to hear it. Its really bloody hard trying to put it all together but I am ready to give it a go I think. Funny how confronting its been already. Its been amazing to look back over my life and then the last two years. Its sure been a road with a lot of twists, turns hills, and slips. I will let you know how I get on and if you have any ideas I would love to hear them.
We are currently getting 4 eggs from our chickens which is fantastic for the cake tin but not so good for my son and husbands waistlines lol. Poor Andy is working out so hard then I go make a batcch of afghans with 200gms of butter in them.
Well no more news for now but will blog you again soon xx

A long blog

2009-05-26T09:03:00.003+08:00

Morning all. I'm shattered after working 6 days in a row ( I know I know it doesn't sound like much but they are 14 hour work days) . Just gotta work tonight then I have 8 off woo hoo.

The band is still super tight and I gotta take laxatives to help in the pooping area which is a pain in the arse (literally) but its probably to do with having liquid meals and not enough roughage.

Scales are still on 87 and then 88 then 87.................................................. I don't get how losing works (not surprising is it). I mean if you have a 1200kj daily diet you are suppose to lose. If you have a high fat high protein low Carb diet you will lose (and that can be as high in calories as you like). If you have a low fat diet you lose if I eat 400kj a day the scales STAND STILL!!!!!!!!!! I know all about starvation mode etc but I still don't get it.

I'm having a hysterectomy in Sept so that's gotta be worth a couple of kilo's lol. I traded my fantastic NZ holiday to have a hysterectomy. What am I thinking lol?

You know when people ask me about having the band I really hesitate recommending it especially if I don't know them well because its such a personal thing and I know of some people who hate it or cheat it and they feel like the band has failed them so I really think fat struggling people have to look at all the facts and come to their own conclusions as to weather this is for them or not. In saying all that a very good friend of mine that I have know for over 20 years has told me she has an appointment to look at getting the band. I am so rapt for you Kay. In the case of someone that I know and love and have seen a mirror struggle with my own I think she is making the best decision of her life that will probably give her a longer life and a more content one. This is by no means a easy option and I still have dark days where I feel ripped off that I cant eat like the majority of others but it has saved my life or at least given me an extra 15 years or so but more importantly just like giving up smoking it may not have killed me from cancer or diabetes or whatever but the quality difference is something to really shout about . I still look at those plastic chairs and remember the day I got wedged in one. I still remember having to get an extender belt from the air hostess but deciding I was so wedged into the seat I would be found with the seat attached to my arse if the plane crashed. I remember how ashamed I felt when my niece made an innocent child like comment about how huge my legs were and they were bigger than her dad's. I remember how my own dad said he thought that I was enormous but the pig he had just slaughtered was even fatter than me. (I don't think most people intentionally try to be hurtful but the wounds still get poked at). I was talking this over with another bandit friend and she was telling me about some of her horrendous moments when young people were walking behind her shouting out ' boom boom boom' as if the ground was moving as she walked. When she was telling me I saw a cloud of pain come over her face as if it was almost too painful to say. Anyway, even though all of these things are part of my story its such a personal decision except to my friend Kay I want to say 'its time for you hon'. You will be fine. You will do great but regardless of your decision Im glad you are my friend. Also to Cara who gets banded on Friday. Dont stress. You will look back with wonderment about this time.

During the writing of the above I got a stabbing pain in my back which came around to the middle of my chest. It was so painful that I really did think of those heart attack adverts and wondered if I was having one! So I traipsed up to the hospital and spent from 9.30am - 11.00pm being monitored. As it turned out to be nothing to do with my heart I feel a bit better but one of the Drs was wondering if its the band. Not sure but its gone now so maybe it was just some sort of spastic muscle thing. I gotta tell you that Rockingham hospital were outstanding and I chuckled to myself when at 5.00pm they bought me in the CARDIAC unit my dinner which was the most delicious slab (size of dinner plate) of pizza with heaps of gooey cheese all over it, a slice of white bread with real butter and a tub of ice cream lol. Anyway will blog you again soon xx

87.5kg

2009-05-19T11:14:00.000+08:00

2009-05-19T11:10:00.000+08:00

Woo hoo

2009-05-18T08:25:00.003+08:00

Quick update on weight loss (considering That's what this blog is suppose to be about). I am now 2.5kg away from my very first goal of 85kgs. I remember right back at the beginning thinking that if I could just get to 85kgs I would be thrilled and now I am so close I can just about touch it. Funny thing is that until a month ago I knew I had lost weight but never really felt slim but with the last few weeks of good loss I really do feel like I have achieved something. Its been a bit cheaty as the band is so tight that I am mainly doing meal replacement drinks but regardless I don't really care right now how but I get there as long as I arrive. I have sat on 92 -95 kg for a year so to finally see 87.5 kg on the scales is fantastic, Will post a recent photo to go with the blog. Post ya soon xx

2009-05-11T11:04:00.002+08:00

Just a very quick blog to say that the Unprofessional went through the lease property and failed the cleanliness test because THERE WAS DUST ON THE VANITY BASIN (((((((((((AND)))))))))) DUST ON THE FLYSCREEN DOOR!!!! So call the freaken sheriff. So we are in battle now as I try and argue with these twats about the fact there is no grease or spiderwebs anywhere as there was when we moved in. At least they never moaned about the paint lol.

A week of whinging

2009-05-07T16:51:00.002+08:00

What a week its been and there is still 3 days to go!! We were renting a house until we bought in Feb and then our son and his partner took over the rent paying until this week when the lease expired and Ethan found a nice little place. So, the cleaning began but luckily the owner gave us a pot of left over paint from when he painted the house out so for the last year I have felt quietly content that I would be able to spot paint and touch up any little knocks. Yesterday I went wild and flicked paint all over the shop. It wasnt until the last brush stroke in the fifth room that I stood back and wondered why the paint looked so different whilst quietly praying that it would be dry and not be soooo noticeable. Ba Baowwwww - wrong! The house looked like a bloody dalmation. I kid you not! I just about pee'ed my pants. So I waited some more hours then decided that I was in deep shit with the house the way it was. The owner sold the house a month after he gave us the paint so I couldnt even prove to the agent that I wasnt some nutter who tried some abstract art on the walls.
All was saved when someone told me to chip off some of the old (correct) paint and take it to Bunnings and they would match it which they did. I love Bunnings forever now. Saved my bacon they did well the bond at least.
Next is the band which is so tight that I cant drink till about 11am and I would kill the pig/cow /sheep/lamb/snapper if I thought I could bite the dam thing, chew and swallow it and be guranteed it wouldnt come back. Will have to have some fill taken out asap. Have lost 5kg in a week but even I know this is not good lol.
Lastly Don and Bastard oops Bradstreet rang they are debt collectors. AAPT who we were connected with A YEAR AND AND HALF ago didnt recieve their last payment from us A YEAR AND A HALF AGO. This is because no one knew why but a bar went on the phone magically and we couldnt use it for a month so I refused to pay the bill. No phone No money! It wasnt that I was late with any other payments just this bar was put on for no reason and I refused to pay and changed carriers. Now Ms Habib Patupp want my money now please Miss Dianne. P#$% O@& was about as much as I could get out. So end result is I told them to take me to court cos its gonna take a judge to make me pay! And that was the week that was xx

2009-04-22T09:39:00.002+08:00

I went and had my barium swallow yesterday. It is like drinking liquid concrete and as I swallowed the doctor followed it down with his machine. Checked that everything was where it should be at and apparently it is. No leakage or anything. It doesn't show the lump under the scar tissue so I still have to have a scan of that. You know its bloody tiring being a hypochondriac and really expensive too! Not sure what my wieght is doing but I do know I am still not out of the 90's due to chocolate (easter is lasting a long time) and red wine and chippies! Grrrrr old habits are hard to break. Not much else to say. Blog ya soon xxxx

2009-04-17T20:57:00.002+08:00

Poor Bella died early this morning. I know she was just a dog but shit the pain is just miserable. Caleb is beside himself. We bought her home and had a funeral for her which I think is a good thing for a 12 year old. We all now have to have tetanus shops due to it being a transferable disease and Mags our other dog gets one tomorrow too. RIP Bella xxxxxxx

2009-04-16T18:26:00.002+08:00

Went and visited Bella with Caleb today, She recognised Caleb and was beside herself to try and get to him but she couldn't move a muscle. Gosh it is so awful.Its just like rigamorteous (sp). Stiff like a dead thing but can still hear everything. I can hardly breathe when I see her. The vet must think I am a mad woman. I ring 10 x a day and pop in to see her at least once. Just wanna cry all the time when I am there. Took her teddy in today and she licked it.
I went to see the surgeon today. I told him that my band isn't comfortable and he is a bit concerned. Oh goody another freaking thing to worry about. He could feel the lump under one of the scars and is concerned by that as well. Am going for a liquid concrete swallow and x ray next week. Will be glad to get that done. No more fills but he was OK to leave what was in there in.
PS To my sister who reads this. Don't be mean to me about Bella, OK! I know we aren't very soft like that but this is shit I tell you ! lol xxx

Poor Bell

2009-04-16T09:50:00.002+08:00

No change! Just as bad as yesterday. Thinks she may pull through but that sounds as bad as yesterday when they said she had a 50/50 chance. Vet man thinks she may have been poisoned or could even be a tumor. Oh how I hate the wait!

2009-04-16T07:21:00.002+08:00

Its 7am 16/04 and I have been up since 4 am pacing the floor watching the clock for it to hurry up and get to 8am. I don't know if I told you but we got my son a gorgeous golden lab puppy 'Bella'. We have had her for about 6 weeks and she is just the loveliest dog. She had these amazing hazel eyes that just make you want to melt She had her second lot of shots last week and we have all been hanging out to take her walking but have another month to wait. Anyway, I got home from work on Tues and Caleb said Bells eyes seemed funny. I looked at them and thought they did too and Andy thought she had poked them or had sand in them. So I rinsed them with some saline. Yesterday morning when I got up I called her and I could hear her thumping around in Maggie's (other dogs) kennel. I went over to get her and she was stiff like a board. She couldn't bend her legs or stand properly and her eyes were bright red with no pupils showing at all. Gosh it was so awful. Andy dropped me off at work (no vets open till 8am) then raced her to the vets. It turns out she has canine tetanus. She has a 50/50 chance of survival. Our whole house is a mess. I cant sleep imagining her alone at the vets and Caleb keeps bursting into tears. Its just the pits. So, here I am waiting waiting waiting for the cash cow (oops vet) to open. I have a surgeons appt at 3.00 to check out the band and fill etc but will decide if I go once I here how Bella is. Will keep you posted xx

Happy Easter

2009-04-12T14:46:00.003+08:00

Hello all. Haven't solved the problem from the last post but I have spoken to some seniors so we have a bit of a plan in action which basically consists of recording whats going on then the seniors will back me up if I take it further. Will just play it by air and see what comes of it. Back to see Dr Keirith next week. I seemt to once again be able to eat a lot more than I could a week ago. The fills seem to last a while then it loosens up. I also eat a bit of junk food so that doesn't help the scales one bit. But it issss easterrrrrr after all. Quiet one for us this year and cheap. Three of my kids are away camping and the other one was coming over with his wife for lunch but rang and cancelled just as I had finished cooking it which is not unusual for him and her for that matter. Anyway I now have the shits on with them so am going to eat their easter eggs (thatll show em lol) I have just had three days off work. Andy worked till 10pm last night. When he got home I had put heaps of candles around for a romantic ambiance and made platters of finger foods which were spread out on dishes on the floor. Honestly he walked in and the candles made the room so hot that we sat there on the floor with sweat pouring off us. In the end I had to open all the doors and let the breeze in. We watched some movie which was suppose to be funny but as the dvd player was playing up it kept jumping all over the show so we missed most of it.
This morning went to the waterfront and had a buffet breakfast but hears the thing. $25 for as much as you can eat and all I could eat was about half a cup full. Andy was on strict instructions to chow down massively lol. Poor man had to be just about rolled out the door hehe.
Well thats it from me. Happy easter xx

Warning - Contains course language

2009-04-06T11:01:00.002+08:00

Hello all. I was lying in bed (11 am on my day off) pondering some 'stuff' and thought ' bugger it, may as well blog'. Always good to write down stuff that's going on in my head I reckon so that's whats bought me to this chair. Firstly band is going good. Not as tight after the last fill now. It must settle and swell a little when its first filled then that must go down cos I can eat lots more than I could last week. I secretly wonder if its leaking but no one seems to think so so maybe it's just the way it is. I go back end of next week so Ill talk to him then. Not sure what the scales are doing but its Easter and well I'm eating chocolate which I like a great deal of lol. I am again not exercising and that just pisses me off but I'm just too tired after my 12 hour days at work. We are looking at taking a big trip overseas next year so both Andy and I are upping our overtime to fund it which definitely rules out exercise (I know its a piss poor excuse but it works for me OK lol) Andy has finished training and is now at the job. Very exciting for us although I have hit a bit of a problem which potentially is going to be a complete bastard of a thing if I can't sort it but.....................................................not sure how to sort it.
The industry that I work in is very male orientated and that's just one of those things that I accept. Years ago I would have really baulked the system and tried to fight for equality and all that but now I understand its just how it is and no matter what no body is going to change it so when i arrived at the job I decided the best way to get acceptance was to act like one of the lads which I can do easily. I don't try and pull the female card at all because its been so hard to be accepted as an equal ( and I'm still working on it) In fact I seem to have done it so well that when we all went out a couple of weeks ago every ones mouths dropped open when I walked in, in a dress and make up. Some didn't recognise me at all.
Anyway FAT MR BEAN as he will now be referred thinks hes all that but is sadly all of nothing yickkkky. Most of the time us girls just roll our eyes and keep working but yesterday I was sitting in the tea room alone with him and he got up to thank me for something. As he walked towards me I thought shit he is going to hug me or kiss me or something and then thought nah he wouldn't then thought shit he is..................... all as he got closer (we are only talking 4 or 5 steps so I didn't have time to make a dash). Anyway before i could move he was coming down on me for a hug and I was so gob smacked that my mouth was partly open again his neck and my arms pinned to my sides. I couldn't friggen move with shock. I can't say fear but it was definitely shock. All I could think in what seemed like hours was 'don't move, don't breathe and don't move your fucking tongue a fraction or he's gonna think you are trying to get it on lol". Anyway it was only a hug of a couple of seconds but I spent a long time scrubbing my mouth and cleaning my teeth.
So, that's what I was lying in bed thinking about this morning. What am I going to do about ugly Mr Bean. I know if I was to try and tackle this I would be ostracised and in essence would absolutely have to leave they would make sure of it. Am I willing to risk it for an offensive little fuck! And at the end of the day whats he really done? Yes he's crossed boundaries but what would i say. "Fat Bean hugged me and I didn't like it". Any ideas?

2009-03-23T10:04:00.002+09:00

To those who check in to see whats happening my apologies In the last two months we have had Emma wedding, another son on the edge of getting divorced, Andy (hubby) at the academy training to be a prison officer. Anyway its all been full on.
I visited another surgeon this week as my original weight loss surgeon said he didn't need to see me anymore and I felt like I was just floating out in a big ocean. So, off I went to see Dr kierith in Perth. He was fantastic. Dr Hamdorf had kept a running telly of my fills and I know without a doubt that I had 9.5mls in the band (the band is 11mls) but when Dr Kierith took all the fill out he only got 6mls????? I don't know whats going on there. I then had a wack of a fill put in (buggered if I know how much was put in) and all the way home I had to be sick cos I couldnt even keep my swallow down. So home I got then back to Perth for a bit to be taken out. Its all a bit of hit and miss but right now even though the band is tight I can still eat and drink be in very little amounts! Most exciting of it all though was Dr Kierith said he will give me a tummy tuck about June when I get to my personal goal. Very excited about that. A friend of mine at work has just had one and I am keen to see how Dr Kierith did with hers. I will pre warn you that when the time comes I am going to put up some before and after photos so hopefully you will get a wee warning before so you can decide if you want to see. Im not sure why you would but some people following this journey are doing the band themselves so they are keen on all the gory details! Work is great. Would love to be able to put up some stories but that's got to be a no go zone. Andy is in the can from the first of April which I am really looking forward to. Hope you are well. Happy 50th Birthday to my big sister in NZ. Wish I was there. xx

2009-01-29T10:06:00.003+09:00

So much news so little time. I rang another weight loss surgeon who also does tummy tucks and he is happy to see me with a veiw to do the plastic surgery so I have an appointment in March (obviously the waiting time is getting huge with these surgeons now). I am really looking forward to it and the fact his tucks are only $3500 so thats going to be a huge saving if it pans out. He has been doing them for 15 years as well as the lap band so he must have some pretty good experience. It will give me more time to get my wieght down a bit too. Dr Allen was interesting with his questions to me when I saw him. He really nailed it when he said its hard to stay motivated to lose wieght when someone gets more and more lose skin as they are hyper critical anyway then they have to deal with the (ugliness) of whats left. I must say thats how I feel.
My daughter is getting married in 2 weeks so I am hard out trying to lose a few kilos (as always try and do a years worth of dieting in 4 weeks lol) My mum and Aunty are coming over from NZ and so is some ex in laws so it will be great to see people I havent seen for years (I still get on the the ex in laws). Sadly my daughter is suffering from obesity too and it really breaks my heart. She has a short stature so cant carry any extra wieght without it looking like a lot more. I know better than anyone there is nothing I can say to her but I just gently try and encourage her. Funny how my boys are all race horses and my girl is the one with a wieght problem (aint it always the way). I will put some new photos up over the next few days. Oh and the last bit of news is that my sone and his girlfriend are having a baby. It sorta went like this on Christmas eve. (Amongst the tears) by the way mum Toni is pregnant
(((((((((MERRY CHRISTMAS))))))))))). i am over the shock now but still very sad for him as he is only 17 but I have learnt that you can educate and advise but at the end of the day they are going to do whatever the hell they want to do regardless! xx

Update Update

2009-01-25T19:34:00.002+09:00

Hello. Well it looks like I still get hits so I am gonna try and keep blogging. I went and saw Dr Allen about the tummy tuck. Fuck what a soul destroying kind of adventure that was. Don't get me wrong he was lovely but when you have to undress and he picks up your stomach and starts giggling it around whist grunting mmmm very heavy and saying no wonder you are so critical of your shape miss. I left feeling somewhat down but somewhat excited that I had taken the plunge. I thought still having 20kg to go (according to BMI) he would say wait but he said do it now which was great. Well it would be better if I had 8k on standby. I have tentatively booked it in for April. It is going to be painful but as I have had a Caesar and he said a tuck isn't as bad then I am OK with that lol. He will remove about 5 kg so that's 5 I don't have to work at hehe. One of the ladies is having it done for $3500 by her wieght loss surgeon so I am going to talk to his surgery to see if he will take on another Dr's patient and if he will I will ask him to see me. Be great to save that extra money. I havent done too much exercise due to the heat (yeah well that excuse works for me ok) but will get back into it soon. Blog soon xx

2009-01-21T21:03:00.002+09:00

Hi all (if anyone is still reading this) I cant believe it was the beginning of December since the last post. Far out. I dont know where the time has gone. Andy (husband) is now at the academy training to be a prison officer. He will be posted at the same prison as me which will be great. I havent loss anymore wieght but didnt gain anything over Christmas. I did however gain 3kg after Christmas so go figure that. Dam it. Gosh its still an ongoing battle. I have an appointment to see a plastic surgeon tomorrow for a tummy tuck. I will post the outcome of what he says. Such a lot of money but I feel like it will be worth it to finish the journey as it were. Will post again after the appointment. Happy New Year to you all

Nearly Christmas again

2008-12-06T13:26:00.002+09:00

Hi all. This will be a short post as I don't have much time. I was just thinking 'stuff' and thought I must blog.
I am trying to write a book. Not sure how it will go cos its one of those things that probably will never get finished but I just had to share the first page which goes something like this.

Its six pm on a Wed night and I am sitting in Prison Unit G. I have just started night shift. I cant believe that only a year ago I was 40kg heavier wondering where the hell my out of control life is going and yet here I am now only one short year later fitter than I have ever been in my life doing whats become my absolute dream job! I am so grateful to God for the miracle of modern medicine and what it has done for me. I am so grateful to my surgeon for his expertise and I am so so so so so proud of myself for getting of my oversized ass and doing something positive to get me out of the cesspool I was spinning around in.

Well anyway it needs lots of work but you know after all this time I can now say it was absolutely worth all the fears and it has given me a hope for the future that I couldn't possibly of had at 135kg. If you are thinking of doing this then think long and hard because its not easy but my goodness it can open up a door that the sun just streams through when your world may be pretty blimmin bleak where you are now.

I ran 5.3km yesterday which has been my goal for weeks and now I have made it. I took 33min and my knees hurt now but when I rounded a corner and saw the finish line ahead of me (I measured it out in the car) I had the goofiest smile on my face that its worth every bit of ache I have now. I also want to congratulate my sister who finished the Kerikeri half marathon a couple of weeks ago. Exercise doesn't come too naturally to my family so that was no easy task for her and she did it. Well done Bon!
Well that's it for me right now. Merry merry Christmas to each and everyone of you. May the joy of the season rest on you all. Be safe and love your loved ones. May 2009 be our year to shine xx

Another huge gap since I last posted

2008-11-05T10:02:00.002+09:00

Time is just flying and posts are getting further and further apart. I'm going to try and change that although I don't always have much news.
I went and saw Dr Hamdorf last week. I was hoping to get another fill but he soon put the brakes on that. I am about 92 or 91 or 94 kg depending on what time of the day/week or month I get on them, Dr Hamdorf said that as I can still eat a fair amount of food and although I have restriction he would have thought I would have alot more given that in a 11ml bacd I have 10.5mls in that I can go for a buriameal (cant spell that) and he will consider giving me a stomach sleeve! I however completely reeled at the thought and have decided not to have the buriameal (liquid concrete drink) and just see what the new year brings. Going through another op and one so drastic is just a bit much for this head to get around right now. He also said he wanted me to see a plastic surgeon and see about a tummy tuck as he feels now is the time to consider that to be done. So easy for a Surgeon earning a squllion $ per year to suggest lol. I have made an appointment for Jan to see a plastic surgeon and at $ 7500 outta pocket expenses its isn't too bad well my MasterCard doesn't think so anyway. I'm going to ask about a boob job (never no maybe its discount for bulk). We haven't heard from the show so that might be that but it was fun anyway. They did say that at that stage it was still only an idea so I'm not sure if it is even going ahead. In the mean time I will see the plastic surgeon and get his advice. I have numerous fitness gurus at my work who all say that with exercise there will be no need to get a tummy tuck and I just nod and do a whole lot of ah ahhhhing cos there is no use in getting into a debate with that type of person. I tried to say to one of them 'listen buddy, try inflating a balloon for 40 years then deflate it and see if you can get it back into shape but they cant be told so I just nod and agree while I think about other stuff. One thing I have learnt through this journey is there are a lot of self taught experts on diet and exercise. Mostly they talk crap but I just let it go now cos I have learnt there is not good debating some expert lol.
I am thinking about doing a 7 day bike tour in March 09. Its all around the Margerot river/Bunbury region. You bike 60 - 90 kms a day. Im really keen to do it but as next year is a huge year in different costs (daughters wedding, mum and aunty coming to visit, girlfriend coming from NZ, tummy tuck, husband and son going to NZ then the three of us going to NZ) I might need to see how the over time is going before I book that one. It cost $1000 so will see. I still love my job. I had a prisoner tell me I look like I was in my 50s and he called me old girl. That kinda wrecked my day but Im over it now plus I had a new hair cut lol. Isnt it funny how words can wreck your day!
I am jogging 3 kms a day now - have stuck to it for a wee while now and I walk 2.3km at lunchtime when I am on duty. I feel heaps better for it too. I wish I could develop a love for exercise but I just find it a grind although I feel so great when its over!
I am still covered in this yucky rash thats driving me nuts with the itch but I cant seem to find whats causing it. I take enough hay fever pills to kill bees but still I have it.
No other news from me for now. I will post some new photos soon. I was looking for a fat photo to show someone at work and will scan the one I found it cos it was such a shock to me Ill be interested to see what you think ......................... xxx

Its been a while

2008-10-07T08:54:00.003+08:00

Wow I cant believe its been so long since I last posted. It seems like just the other day but its almost been a month. So much has happened so Ill start from the beginning. I am now 92kg and only about 8 kg from goal. That's bound to change once I get there but that's my first goal. I am still a size 14-16 which suits me just fine. I have a lot of restriction so have to eat very slowly but that's a good thing for me otherwise I just guts food down. I am still hoping to get in to see my surgeon so I can discuss having the band removed and a sleeve performed (where they take 90% of the stomach away which includes 90% of the enzyme that causes us to want to eat. I don't think he will go for it cos I am considered a band success story but it would take the hassle of being sick and having to concentrate on eating away and I would really like that.
Next news! I was at work the other day and heard an ad on the tv for a make over show that is being made and they were asking for his and her applicants to apply. When I got home (it was 14hours later) I remembered the ad and went on line. I talked it over with my husband and we decided we would apply for a laugh. The application was quite detailed about the whys of wanting to have changes made to your body so after I had filled that in they then called for photos'. This is where I really need to ad that I WAS REALLY TIRED. I asked Andy to take some shots of me which he did both fully dressed then I stripped off to bra and knickers to show the after effects of losing 40 odd kilos. I did the same for him and then I hit send.About 5am the next morning I woke in a cold sweat when I realised I was dressed in full uniform. ID and everything. What a complete donkey! I cant believe I did that. Given that we should be anonymous or at least very discreet I go and shoot off a photo of me fully uniformed then nearly starkers. Shit! You know when you are really deep in thought about something you usually have a habit that goes with it. My mum whistles, my friend talks it out well I pace and talk to myself! Not the most balanced thing for someone to watch me do but that's what I do. Backwards and forwards jabbering on about the pros and cons of my next move. I very quickly decide I have to go to the highest person at work and humbly tell him what I have done (huge gulp). So I get to work and head to the office of the highest person, only I meet his secretary on the way and he wants to know why I want to speak to the main man and I have to squeak out that I don't want to tell him that its private AHHHHH. I am now feeling about a quarter of an inch high. This then intrigues the secretary and he follows me into the office and I have to spill my guts to both of them. Ripped off!!!!! I felt so stupid. Anyway the whole matter had to be put before security and they said it shouldn't be a problem. We got a call from the producers asking us to make an audition tape and send it to them so we did that but haven't heard anything more since then. The hilarious thing is it isn't quite like I thought and they don't offer any major plastic surgery mostly its diet and exercise advise but it would be great to have two weeks in Sydney anyway, So I will keep you posted on how we go, if anywhere.
My 17 yr old got his L licence the other day so he wants to drive us everywhere. Talk about hold on for dear life. Gosh I hate it but i am trying to swallow hard and be brave. I am obviously one of those pain in the ass parents who continually squawks 'watch out' move over. slow down' so I don't know how long the kid will put up with that. Lessons with a professional are definitely on the cards. Well gonna sign off now and will add more soon. promise!

2008-09-14T20:25:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone.
I had a fill last week. The Dr that did it fills in for my surgeon to save his time I guess and she was quite good although I'm not quite sure she knew what the heck she was doing when she tried to give me a fill cos she poked and pushed and I grunted and squealed but we finally got there. I now have 10.5mls in my 11ml band so there ain't a lot of room for food which I find really pleasing after being able to fit a lot of food down up until this last fill. Its been a real battle not to over eat so I feel great that the restriction is back. I have been slack slack slack with the exercise thing mostly cos I am lazy with a capital L and partly cos I am ......................lazy too lol. The scales are showing 95kg now so things are moving in the right direction but here's a funny thing. I went shopping for clothes and I am a size 14 in both top and bottom (numerous items tried on in different shops). I don't get the whole size thing because at 95kg if I am a size 14 if I get to my goal of 75kg (ok it may be a bit unrealistic but that's the aim) then I would be a size 6!!!!! That's ridiculous! I am not ever nor do I aspire to be a size 6 so whats with that. I was never a size 10 when I was 72kg ( a long long time ago) so what has happened to clothing sizes? Ha I would be able to share my 5 year old granddaughters clothes cos shes a size 6. How cool I could wear Dora the explorer outfits lol.
I will blog again soon xxxx Dianne

Happy ONE YEAR BANDERVERSARY

2008-08-30T21:14:00.004+08:00

Hi all, Gosh I don't know where the time goes but it sure goes somewhere. Can you believe it has been a whole year since I was banded! ONE YEAR this week! Good grief. What a year its been. I feel all sorts of emotions when I think of the build up to the operation then the last year. I was beside myself with fear this time last year. Fear of the operation and failure and then the enormous hopelessness of my weight problems and what would happen to me if I didn't go ahead with it. So here I am a year later thinking how at times I still feel a bit hopeless because I am still struggling with weight everyday but also because I was hoping to be in the 80ks range and I am still about 96kg. I know I need to go have a yak with my surgeon and discuss what else to do but I feel really embarrassed at not being lighter. On the other side of the journey (the positive side) I am hugely grateful that I have lost over 37kg and have a life. I have a new career that could never have happened without the band and I have given myself years back. For that I am so thankful for.
The fact is that I am always going to have to be focused on what goes into my mouth and I have to exercise (a dirty dirty word right now).
I am going to make an appointment to see Dr Hamdorf in the next couple of weeks and talk 'stuff' over with him. A part of me is hoping for a sleeve to replace the band but I dont know if its easy to convince ones surgeon of it. Andy is looking amazing from all the exercise he is doing. He has lost about 20ks and is very toned and yummo looking. I listen to hime huff and puff for an hour each day and think how little time that one hour is but thats about as far as I get to joining him.
Well no more news from me. I will post again soon. xxx
PS I am loving my job. Just loving it. Its bizarre that I love it so much I guess but I really do .

2008-08-21T07:37:00.002+08:00

Training is over! Wow its been a long 3 months but its finally done and dusted although now the real world awaits and that feels a bit scary too. My weight has taken a hammering throughout the last 3 months. I had mum over and lots of fill removed when the chicken got stuck so its all been very up and down. I am two kilos heavier than when I started so considering my options have been a cooked lunch with pudding every day it really isn't too bad. The biggest bummer is that I have stopped exercising and I can tell the inches have crept back on. Once I get to my workplace (from tomorrow) then I will join the group of woman who walk the perimeter each day during lunch and once I get a bit of confidence I will even go to the gym during lunch break (there is a gym on site). Gosh its just such an on going battle but I am still determined (most days) to win it. My passing out ceremony was fun. I have never done anything like it before so we all marched into the gymnasium where our families and dignitaries were and received certificates etc. I found it quite exciting cos I feel like I have actually achieved something. 23 out of the 24 new recruits made it which wasn't too bad given how hard we all found it.No more news from me at the moment. Blog ya soon x Dianne

2008-08-10T19:17:00.002+08:00

Good Grief that was a bit scary. I tried to log on and it didn't recognise me? What the! I thought I would never be able to update again.....but alls well now.Hope you are all doing well. Its the end of another week and I only have ONE MORE TO GO before I am off to the real world and I can actually put into practice all that I have been taught or should I say all that I have tried to learn. Its been a long three months that's for sure. Tomorrow I have the day off. That's the first one in three months and coming from my last job and a boss who's middle name was 'sure no problem' I have had problems dealing with this one who's name is ' naff off and don't bother me'. Anyway tomorrow is my first day at trying to solve my sticky eye and girly problems after I go and meet friends for lunch and do some shopping woo hoo. I am not a shopping sorta girl but after the last three months I think I might just be tomorrow. My eating is still scewwiff but the good thing is I haven't put on any weight so that's a bonus. I have another band friend who has just added 8kgs back to her frame and is struggling desperately which is something that I can relate to well. People tend to think this was an easy option but in truth the issues are still all there. Anyway enough of that. We had my girls engagement party last night and that went off with a hiss and a roar. Master 17 bought his new girlfriend along (well at least I think he did but as his face was attached to hers the whole night maybe it wasn't who I thought it was lol) Ah young love! Well nothing else to type about. Hope you are all ok. Will blog again later in the week. xx

2008-08-05T20:29:00.002+08:00

It has been ages since I blogged and I'm sorry about that. A combination of things really. Feeling really fat and don't wanna discuss it for one. Am starting to HATE the academy for another. Feel like everything is out of control for another actually the list isn't seeming to end.
I am about 96kg which is a little higher than I was but not as high as I deserve to be BUT it may as well be cos I feel like I am as big as a house and am constantly shocked that I can still do my uniform up. Every day I put it on thinking 'this is it' or ' its never going to do up' but it does. Its such a psycho thing which is doing my head in. I aren't able to eat a lot but as I am not exercising at all and eat lollies all day to try and stay awake with the rest of the trainees i am not doing myself any favours. Its so scary to gain weight and I am always on edge about it. That's probably the biggest bummer of this journey - the fact that nothing has really changed and no eating/fat stresses have really left me cos I still constantly think of food/gaining/losing/what to eat or not to eat. I am at the point of asking my surgeon to take the band out and replace it with a sleeve but I don't really think he will although I am going to discuss it with him. The sleeve is where the stomach is stapled to a tiny one (about the size of your little finger) the bonus is NO Follow up adjusting. The problem is that I still continue to make poor food choices and am right back at square one. I might be feeling like this due to being one month away from my 1st year bandaversary and I thought I would be at goal where as right now I cant see anything except that friggin 100 still in view! AHHHHHHHHH.
I also am in the process of a possible hysterectomy. Woo hoo. I say possible as I have been told that as I had a Cesarean I am at higher risk of some bloody thing but I switched off so don't know what that is. I am having a Mariner (not sure if that's the right spelling) put in on Monday to try and give me some 'wing free days' so I am really looking forward to that minor surgery NOT. I had to have an internal scan (sorry to all the boys reading this) which was a thrill a minute. I feel a bit ripped off as a girl today!
What else is going on? Mmmm oh yeah. I have conjuctivitis in one eye that wont seem to bugger off with antibiotics so thats a thrill. Why did I leave it so long to post. Shit I feel so much better now hehe.
I am not suppose to blog anything about my job for safety reasons (if anyone tracked down who I was I could be vulnerable so I am going to be extra careful with what I say. However I just want to add that I have two weeks left then my training is all over and I start in the real world. I feel quite anxious about it although I think once I am in doing it I will be so much better off than all this theory bullsh*t. Its doing my head in. I have had numerous spats with the trainers and another is brewing. Today I refused to take off my ISSUED jumper as it was 2 degrees and I have spent the last three weeks with a flu that I havent fully shaken off. Well that went down like a lead balloon and I am half expecting to get a detention or some bloody thing.
No more news from me for now. Sorry that it looks like a big bitch session but............................it is and plus you are a cheap counsellor lol. xx Dianne

2008-07-12T16:56:00.002+08:00

Just a quick add on to the one below. My daughter got engaged to her fella last Sunday. They are marrying next Feb so that's my goal to lose a few more K's. So that at least was a good part of the week xx

2008-07-12T16:33:00.002+08:00

What a bugger of week its been. No particular reason but its just been a pain in the neck and I am glad its over. I am having trouble with 'woman's' problems and weather that's causing my weight to stay stagnant I don't know but I just cant seem to budge the scales. My surgeon said to me to eat whatever I want cos I will lose weight cos I cant eat big quantities. Well baa baaow! Wrong! I can eat chips (cold) till the cows come home and I can eat enough to gain weight AND I can seem to eat any sort of cake I want that doesn't get stuck So, this week I am going to behave and move the scales and I am going to get back into exercising.
Training has been tough. I really struggle with the militant side of it as I have already said. I just don't think when I am there about hierarchy etc. I have always had a problem with people or the perception that people are talking down to me. Last week I was freezing and walking along with my hands in my pocket when this booming voice behind me said 'Ms M...., are your hands cold?' I replied 'yes freezing, thanks for asking'. It didn't occur to me that I was being told in a round about way to get them out of my pockets and it wasn't until someone poked me in the side and said 'get your hands outta your pockets' through gritted teeth did it click! Then I really screwed up on Friday and got in huge trouble. We had a guest speaker and I swear this man looked like Abe Lincoln. He started his talk and I don't know where he was from but he had an incredibly thick German or Polish accent. I got the giggles. I couldn't stop. The more i tried to the more I cried with laughter. It had this huge roll on effect and suddenly half the class were almost off their chairs with laughter. This lasted for an hour. When we got back to class the manager and another came in and screamed at us. It was warranted and bloody rude of me I know but I just couldn't get my act together. Oh well - shouldnt beat myself up I guess. I just wish it was all over and I could get into the actual job. Well I will sign off now and go for a walk. Have a good week and dont have your hands in your pocket either lol

2008-07-05T14:12:00.002+08:00

It feels like such a long time since I last posted. I have lost the 4kg I gained after the chicken incident so I am thrilled with that. I haven't been all that well with a combination of sheer exhaustion, a cold and 'ladies problems' so I am feeling extra knackered.
I have just finished one of the hardest weeks of training so far where it was all about learning weapons and self defence which was so difficult for someone who struggles with violence and even though I know I may need to use this one day (prayerfully not) its still a huge shock and really hard to change my thinking. I managed to end up in tears twice throughout the week and yesterday I - and the trainers thought I had broken my arm after one of the actors that is used to act violently towards us whacked me so hard I went flying! I got home last night and literally could not lift my arms any higher than about 8 inches from my side. I got capsicum sprayed on Wed and let me tell you it was the most excruciating thing I think I have ever done. It was freaking miserable in fact I was so naive to it I thought I was going to have a panic attack. My face and mouth and eyes and forehead and hand burnt like they were in hot fat. Honestly, it was bloody crazy it was so sore. It took a good 30 minutes of dousing myself before I could feel ok enough to keep my eyes open. Never again that's for sure!
I have a number of clashes throughout the week with my trainers as they have been very militant and I struggle beyond belief with that but at the end of the day I got through and ultimately I can now throw someone off me should I end up with someone on top of me on the ground and I can hook punch, bitch slap, front strike quite well so all in all it was quite successful or it will be when the bruises go away!
My mum and dad in law are here from NZ for the next three weeks so I am off to start cooking dinner. Catch you soon xx

2008-06-20T17:32:00.002+08:00

Yippee its the end of another week training and I am sooooo glad! Training is long and hard and full on. There is not one minute of the day that isnt accounted for and its driving me nuts trying to get use to the regimentedness of it (if there is such a word). I spent Monday and Tues at the work place and that was great. Its nice to finally put places and procedures into place cos until now I couldn't figure out what most senior officers were even talking about. I have come down with the heaviest of head colds which is a bummer as the academy where i am training is an old prison and I swear its about 10 degrees colder than anywhere else. I think it would be warmer standing in a puddle of cold water outside than wrapped up and inside the building. My weight is heading up a wee bit due to the fact I can eat copious amounts more than I could before I got the chicken stuck. I am feeling quite desperate about it and am wanting to desperately get a fill but cant get in for two more weeks. I can eat a whole bread roll (filled) now and dessert. Not liking this at all. Its a very low feeling and psychologically all these thoughts go through my mind like 'look how fat I have gotton' and my pants wont fit me anymore even though its only about 3kg I have gained.
The other thing that happened this week is that I put my sweet (really lovely) little canaries outside in the sun on Wed and yesterday I remembered them. That means that they were in the night temp of 4degrees and they were both lying on the cage floor with there little feet up in the air! How bad am I? Oh my gosh. I feel sick that I forgot about them and they had this antarctic type death. I wondered if I could warm them up and they might defrost a bit and spring back into life but nope that didn't work (I put the cage in the laundry with the dryer going) so they were buried. I asked the Senior Officer if I could fly the flag at half mast but he wasn't impressed! Well I am off to have a glass of Dolcetto Syrah. Blog ya soon xx

2008-06-10T18:50:00.002+08:00

I have just been talking to my sister and she said she wanted me to update so here it is. I am back in training this week and will be for the next 11 weeks. The training is paramilitary meaning it parallels with with military and this is where I come a little unstuck. I do understand that the job needs to be very disciplined but and for me it is a big but I have never been able to get into that who military training thing and have often thought they are sort of ......................tosserish! Not that there is anything wrong with someone choosing that career its just I never would. So on the first day when Sargent says we will 'muster' I didn't have a bloody clue what they were talking about. I quickly realised it was to line up but when he bellowed at me to 'not dare be holding my cup of coffee' I spluttered through gritted teeth 'are you talking to me?' Then when he said 'Miss, don't you ever stand with your hands in your pockets' I found it very difficult to hide my disdain and not giggle 'how bout you go get a life'! I have gotten better and I haven't had many more growlings but that's mainly cos I have decided to hang at the back rather than the front of the muster. Today we disarmed a bomb only we blew up so that wasn't much good. Don't be too alarmed as it was a team building exercise so even though I blew up the team I at least don't have to really try and disarm a bomb lol. We have to iron our uniform with such precision that its starting to scare me as ironing is most definitely not a strong point with me. I have been too scared to sit down in case I get bellowed at for the creases on my arse. Today I had to keep going to the loo and I was convinced that Sargent was gonna yell at me for the time spent out of the classroom so I had it all planned that I was going to ask him if he had any tips on changing a tampon fast as I couldn't get my time under 5 minutes but luckily he didn't ask as I might just have gotten fired! I am really enjoying the course and am trying hard to conform but it is a challenge. Well I am off to bed as one thing for sure is that if I dont get a good nights sleep I just about go mental trying to stay awake and I do believe that Sarg is gonna be really pissed at me if I start snoring. Check out the uniform xx

Hello Hello Hello

2008-06-06T16:52:00.002+08:00

Well it feels like ages since I last posted when really it hasn't been but it still feels like it. I have had a very eventful week and am very glad its Friday! I got through the events of last weekend OK and on Tuesday I rang my surgeons office and begged BEGGED for an appt to see someone that day as I was starting my job in the Prisons on the Wed. They said they would see me and I rushed in there rejoicing at the thought of getting my 4mils back. I saw the Dr and she weighed me which showed me at 95kg which isn't nearly as bad as I` thought it might have been as mum really did do some pretty yummy cooking while she was here. Anyway, the Dr said she rang my surgeon when she heard I was coming in and he said I could only have 2mils back which has turned out to be not nearly enough as I can eat way too much. Its still a bit of restriction and she said I can have the rest back in two weeks so I'm ok with that. Wed I started my new job and I am thrilled with the great bunch of people I am working with. I thought they might have a few boofy head type personalities there but nope they are all great and I think may even turn out to be life long friends. The training has been really interesting except the legislation jargon but apart from that its been interesting and I have loved it. Still a bit scary though! I had to re do my fitness test today and was relieved when I passed it especially since I haven't exercised for about 7 weeks apart from the very very very occasional run or treadmill. I got my uniform a couple of days ago so that was exciting but I haven't worn it yet. I will sign off now and will post again in the middle of next week. xx Dianne

2008-05-31T16:13:00.004+08:00

I am sitting here on a very very bleak day tapping my fingers on the computer desk wondering if I need to contact my surgeon so I thought I would blog instead lol. I don't know what has happened but yesterday I had a wing from KFC (theres my first mistake) and I was really hungry (second mistake) and I ate it too quick (bingo for a hatrick). I was driving at the time and had to bring most of it back up and even then I stayed very uncomfortable. Later that day I was at the pools with the young fella and his mate and I bought them some hot chips but I couldn't even keep one down so as I didn't want anything last night I didn't eat anything else. This morning I got up late so about 11 had a Weight Watchers cake and a small drink which I couldn't keep down and have just lost everything including fluids since. I have txt my surgeon so will wait to hear from him. I am thinking something from the chicken is stuck and I may have to had the band loosened to let whatever it is go then re tightened. Anyway I will wait and see. I start my prison officer training on Wed so blimmin hope this is sorted by then! Hope all is well with you all xx for now
PS I just got home from the hospital. We went out to dinner and after a whole evening of taking a tiny mouthful and then rushing off to try and remove it my husband took me up to the hospital I had the band done in. There was a duty GP and she arranged for me to be transferred to another public hospital to have some fluid taken out but apart from that and her very nice manner she was useless as she didn't know what to do and even said it (never mind still she smiled when she charged me $80!) lol. Just as we were leaving to go to the other hospital my surgeon rang and said he was in Sydney but to stay put as he was sending a specialist down to take some fluid out so that whatever was blocking could pass through and 30min later that's just what happened. I drank a huge glass of water after it and was sent home. Oh the relief. I will go back in a few weeks and have the fluid put back in but have to wait for the stomach to settle down due to the swelling. Ah alls well that ends well xx

2008-05-21T23:50:00.002+08:00

Hello all. Its been a few days since I last posted and although i don't have much to blog about I am able to say that I have put on about 3kg in as many days due to my mothers visit and the home cooking that has taken over my house! I don't think I have had as much cream. sugar eggs or butter in my house ever as I have in the last couple of weeks. I have trekked backwards and forwards to the supermarket at least once a day to stock up any dwindling supply or anything that may have even remotely looked like it was going to run out. Mum made a coffee cake yesterday which was no where near as good as the three inches of fudgey coffee icing on top of it and why is it that I have to go and puked up the veges and roast that I eat but the cakes trifles and piklets just cruise on past the band giving it a gleeful finger as they do I'm sure. Even Andy is saying between mouthfuls of delicious gooey treats 'we really must get back on our diet'. My mum just cant seem to help herself when it comes to stocking up and I make no secret of the fact that I cant seem to help myself eating it. Mum goes home this Saturday and although I will be sad I can hear my surgeon say 'oh thank God for that'. lol. She will certainly be leaving a chokers pantry and fridge and a well watered garden behind and a daughter with a slightly larger behind of her own. Well I best be off to bed and ready myself for another day in the kitchen (its peanut brownies and ginger crunch tomorrow). I finished up at my job yesterday and I am so glad about that. I will miss some of my work colleagues but not much else except maybe the pay packet until my new job starts on the 04/06 but then again I think my pantry will keep us going for a good couple of months and if it doesn't the butter supply will. I'll blog again soon and tell you about the copious amounts of exercise I will be doing to get off the extra kg's xx

Its a bizarre world we live in.

2008-05-16T20:57:00.002+08:00

I just wanted to quickly blog cos something really bizarre came to light today and I'm so dumbfounded that I had to type. My son has had a RVO (restraining order) taken out against him. May I just say without too much detail that this son of mine has done some very challenging (challenging to my sanity that is) things in his life but for once I can honestly say that this RVO is a nasty nasty woman who saw an opportunity and gleefully took it to make life really hard for my son. Anyway, we are challenging this in court but in the mean time yesterday two of the people named in the RVO tried to contact my son by mobile phone so I rang the police and asked if they could please contact these people and tell them they are breaking their own order and not to contact my son (sorry trying not to use his name), The police asked what limitations are on the RVO and I read out what they were. No contact to be made either in person or by txt or e mail or within so many metres of their house or he mustn't get a third party to contact them on his behalf. Ah said the constable. We have a bit of a problem. Because the order says that a third person must not contact them on behalf of my son then the police cant contact them cos they are considered a third party and would have to arrest my son for breaching the order! Lord give me strength!!!!!!!!!! and patience.....................now! So if son gets any more calls or visits from the ferrals then no one can speak to them about it as son would be arrested for using a third party to contact them. Go figure. The law really is an ass!

2008-05-15T11:58:00.003+08:00

I am sitting here with my head cocked to one side holding the phone on my shoulder listening to some pianoist playing in my ear as I wait for Sven to take me off hold and talk to me about my taxes , now thats a fun way to spend this cold wet morning. I just wish Sven had a better command of English cos I keep having to say 'what was that' and 'sorry Sven, I dont understand what you are saying' when really what I want to say is 'AHHHHHH you are messing with my head here and my life and if you get this wrong Sven then I am gonna be nailed to the friggin wall by your invisable employer!' So the music plays on. I am still on holidays from work but I havent done a lot except eat and eat some more. I seem to be at the shops all the time with my mum to stock up anything that the grocery store has that my pantry is missing. I talked her out of making a carrot cake yesterday but its back on the agenda today however I think since my brother has been dallying in a gluten free life she has decided to make one with GF flour as if somehow that makes it healthier. Oh well Ill lose it once she goes home I guess! Well Sven got back to me and after a very frustrating disjoined conversation I have hung up. I HATE trying to deal with the ATO. I had two attempts at getting hold of them in which I was told by an automated service that 'we are sorry but we cant talk to you today as we are too busy' and ' try again another day' AHHHHHH. Oh well at least the longer I take to sort my debt the more interest is being accumilated so thats got to be a positive thing - doesnt it! No more news here. I wont be updating a wieght until the end of June as I need mum recovery time lol. I am looking forward to my new job now which is a good feeling. Will update again soon xxx

Changes in the air

2008-05-09T07:17:00.002+08:00

Good Morning. Well we are all moved and settled. My mum arrived from NZ safely and I feel like the last few weeks has been like a build up to a wedding where I wasnt able to do anything more towards the big day until the day before but then everything comes to gether and even though the stress levels are through the roof you can at least start moving on so now all this new faze stuff is happening. I am resigning from my job today and will leave in a week although a good part of that last week I am taking holidays so I will in essence only truly work for another 3 days yahoooooo! I work with some great people and am going to miss them but I am so glad to be waving goodbye to the organisation and the job itself. I start my new job on the 04/06 and now I am quite looking forward to it. I have met another person who I will be working with and he has been there for 9 years so it was good to hear some positive stuff cos up until now its mainly been negative. My band news is small. I seem to be at just about the sweet spot where I can eat a small amount but enough to feel satisfied. I struggle daily with not choosing bad foods and as mum is here and she is the type of person that doesnt move too far from the kitchen i have found that a challenge this week. I got home last night and found myfruit bowl had two bananas and a pear in it (which I put there) and underneath them were hundreds of lollies! So all night I tried to fight the urge to chew them up and listened to my mum and husband rattle around amoungst them until I finally caved and ate half a dozen! Then mum says 'oh Dianne, dont eat those'!!! We have also had a night of pikelets and cream and jam and cream cake. The best way to describe my mum is to say she is like one of those little Italiano woman who is always kneeding dough or stirring the pot of preserves. Our whole family have used the kitchen table to rotate around socially so its a very hard habit to break and it makes me sad cos in my family I dont think there is one that is in control of their eating or weight and every conversation revolves around the battle of the bulge whilst eating delicious unhealthy food. I am a long way from breaking these habits though and as I see mum once a year I want to just enjoy the time with her and not obsess about whats going in my mouth or calories etc. Anyway Im off to have brekky then to this job for one of the last times. I might just celebrate with some pikelets .........'mum, heat up the fry pan'!

2008-05-01T13:34:00.003+08:00

AHHHHH I just had all my hair cut off. AHHHHHHH what was I thinking? I heard the voice. The one that is ever so quiet but powerful enough to make you think mmmmmmmmmmm what the heck am I thinking. ((((((((((HELLO)))))))))))) dont do it!!!!!!!!!1 But I did and OH MY GOODNESS IM AN OLD PERSON. I have this thing about me and short hair and I always think that I look heaps older with it. I come from a long hair phobic family (yessss Im talking to you sister lol) and I am the opposite but now I have joined the ranks and become 'one' with short hair. The reason I got it cut was that my official pack came from the prison and I figured that I would get annoyed with my hair and as I have to tie it with a lacky and that gives me headaches I STUPIDLY ON IMPULSE went and got it cut. Luckily the girl did an ok job cos usually I end up looking like a cone head or a triangle head lol. Right Im off to have a stiff drink of water lol Blog again soon xxxxx Check out the photo eeeeeeek!

2008-04-30T07:00:00.003+08:00

Hello all. So much is happening in our lives at the moment that I am just taking time to have a breather before I start another day. We have sold our house. That's the first thing and what a long drawn out rigmarole it is. We didn't think the sale was going to happen then we did then we didn't so its all been about...............waiting. It seems to be a season of just waiting and as I am a control freak I find waiting really difficult especially as so much has depended on what the outcome of the wait will be. We couldn't get a rental until the house sale was finalised and the buyers signed off on the deal and as it is a landlords market at the moment and every agency wants a weeks rent as an application fee (they call it an 'option fee' but blowed if I know what part is the OPTION cos no pay means no apply) and if you put in more than one application and happen to be offered more than one then you lose your OPTION fees on all the others! Now how legal that is I don't know but it sure puts me off applying for more than one. So last week I applied for a house and it took them a whole week to tell me that one of the other 30 applicants had been more successful so I started this week without knowing if we would have a home on Friday which is suppose to be settlement day. Anyway we finally got offered a place yesterday and we grabbed it so at least we have a place to live especially as my mum arrives from NZ on Friday and I was thinking she may have to have the bus stop seat while we have the grassed area! Then yesterday our settlement agent said she didn't know if the banks would be ready to settle by Friday. They do my head in! I am still waiting for my official letter from the Prison service offering me a job so surprise, surprise its another wait. At least my boss had some sympathy for me and gave me this week off. Anyway I best go and get some housework done - woo hoo. Hey on the up side the stress must be causing me to eat less cos I am 93kg today! Always look for a silver lining lol Have a good week xx PS Not sure if you scroll to the bottom of the page but there are some newish photos of me.It still feels like such a long way to goal especially when I look at photos but I just have to keep focused on how far I have come.

2008-04-21T08:55:00.002+08:00

I am 95kg today! I cant believe that I am nearly in the 80's. Its been 7 years since I was there and then it was for the shortest time. I have had a very reflective weekend after I spoke to a very dear friend who had a massive health scare last week. I don't know what happens in our lives to make us give up on ourselves and then time and family and jobs and everything else just takes over and suddenly YEARS have gone and we are older, fatter, unfit, and tired and it all just feels too hard and too much to change. I am asked all the time if I regret or am glad to have had the band and up until now I have always kind of shrugged and said its not for everyone and I have had my regrets. I think sometimes because I have been embarrassed that I had to go to the measures I did to lose weight and often the people that ask me are not or have never struggles with true obesity and so I feel uncomfortable trying to explain/justify my choice of the band. Anyway after thinking about my friend I have decided that the band is a blimmin good idea for anyone who is at the end of their weight loss tether and wants to achieve permanent weight loss and change their lives in a very positive way. I still put in mammoth amounts of effort (and sometimes I fail and get frustrated) but all in all the band is the tool that has got me to where I am today including the change in my career. If anyone is thinking of the band I would seriously say (after you have seen Dr's etc) go for it PROVIDING you are willing to make life changes and exercise too. Finally, to my wonderful friend who will be reading this. I love you and am praying for changes in your circumstances. Hang on in there chick because life is going to get better xxxxxxx

Pinched this off a site cos I loved it. Enjoy

2008-04-21T08:52:00.002+08:00

A garden for daily living
Plant three rows of peas:
Peace of mind
Peace of heart
Peace of soul
Plant four rows of squash:
Squash gossip
Squash indifference
Squash grumbling
Squash selfishness
Plant four rows of lettuce:
Lettuce be faithful
Lettuce be kind
Lettuce be happy
Lettuce really love one another
No garden should be without turnips:
Turnip for service when needed
Turnip to help one another
Turnip the music and dance
Water freely with patience and Cultivate with love.
There is much fruit in your garden
Because you reap what you sow.
To conclude our garden
We must have thyme:
Thyme for fun
Thyme for rest
Thyme for ourselves

4 Months on................

2008-04-13T09:45:00.004+08:00

Hello all. My blog has become a bit off the weight loss journey and more on entering the prison service! I will get back to the weight loss journey very soon but wanted to let you know whats been happening on the prison stuff. As you all know I had the stupid literacy test and once again thought I had failed and might I say for good reason one of them being that on the last page of questions I just thought 'flag it' and guessed every answer without reading any questions. So as you can imagine I was completely shocked to be told the next day that I had 'passed with flying colours'!!! I still can't believe that! So all I had left was the fitness test which was booked in for 11.30am yesterday 12/04. I arrived after a very restless nights sleep. I think Andy and i thought I was training for some elite race or something. Andy woke me with a poached egg on toast (good protein apparently) and then a cup of tea. I was so nervous. ................................to be continued.
Sorry I had to go to work but now I'm back. So as I was saying I was so nervous the morning of the fitness test I felt like I had butterflies and caterpillars in my tummy. I arrived at the training centre at 10.30 hoping to watch someone else and to calm a bit. The 'commando' introduced himself and said that he was the fitness instructor for all the recruits and that we had to reach this minimum standard to be considered for a position and that he would not tolerate any weak attempts and expected full achievement to receive a pass. Well my nerves by this stage were jangling around. He said I looked really stressed which didn't help me at all. I thought I would be possibly ok if I could do the push ups first then the shuttle run then the agility test cos I felt that I would have the strength at the beginning to do the push ups but if they were last I wouldn't. I asked commando and he said 'nope, the order is shuttle then agility then push ups EEEEEEEK! He showed us how to do the shuttle run told us to warm up then we would start. I don't even know how you warm up so I just walked around looking like a twat! So then we lined up (there is me and two guys) one of whom is repeating his first attempt at the shuttle run. We start to the cd and we are off. Once I got to 2.8 I just thought I can do this and before I knew it I was told to stop as I had completed my shuttle run . The guy who was on his second attempt bombed out then too so that was it for him, The other guy finished. Then I had to the agility which I blitzed in 7.9 seconds. I had 8 seconds to do it. Then came the push ups and I was stressing. The commando said that we had to do them like 'this' and proceeded to show us what was expected of us. He showed us what was a fail and especially pointed out that not going down low enough would not be accepted. He said that he would repeat the number if we did one wrong. So I got down and into position. He said right go. I went down as low as I could and up. He said 'one'. I did it a second time a squeezed my eyes shut expecting to hear 'one' again but he said 'TWO". Wow I was pumped and thought 'I can do this". I went down again and came up to a 'three' and so on until I went down for the seventh and made that horrible grunting sound that says 'I am in pain here and not sure I can do this'. Commando lent right down and said 'don't you give up on me now. Suck it up and do it'. And I did! I passed the fitness test. I am truly proud of myself. I said at the start of this post that the blog had become all about the prison service but the fact is if it wasn't for the band I would never be where I am today and I am so grateful to have some life back. I am still around 96kg and part of that is I haven't been concentrating on good eating but more scoffing what I know will go down and that is usually high in calorie and I plan on changing that very soon now that my focus is a little less on achieving the fitness test goal. Thanks for reading about this journey I hope some of you are inspired to step out of your own comfortable boats and maybe go after something that you really want. Believe me, if I can you sure can. xx for now Dianne

So the saga continues

2008-04-09T20:38:00.002+08:00

Just a quick post cos I want to update you on the Prison Service. This week I have the last two stages of the process. The literacy and the fitness. Now, although I don't have a particularly high opinion of myself out of all the stages of this ridiculous process the literacy is the only one I thought I would fly through not because I am particularly bright but I love reading and just life in general, the job I do and that I think my IQ is ok makes me think that I will do 'passable'. Well that little sucker was today and I turned up today and joined eight others for what I thought would be a bit of a breeze. OH BOY WAS I WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!!! It was all multiple choice and ALL they were (I forget the name these questions have) but I could call them a colourful one, they were those questions that go ........... is to drink as bread is to,,,,,,,,,,, . Out of everything they could of given me these are the worst cos I have never got it. Never never never. I just really struggle with them. In the end I was just colouring in any little box I wanted to. I would look at my answer sheet and notice I had answered 5 C's in a row so thought I better choose a different answer for the next one. I really bungled it! Well I find out tomorrow and honestly if I pass it is a miracle from God cos I did not do it on my own that's for sure. Will post again after I have the results. On a footnote I would like to add, What the heck are these agencies thinking. I send in a resume which is good enough to get me a first interview. I then do 5 hours of psych testing all of which is reading and written. Then the panel interview and I have to write my answers to all the questions I am being asked and I have to submit that to them at the end of the interview so I can obviously read, comprehend and write. Why would they then put someone through this nonsensical process? Surely the fact someone can read and write bloody well should be enough? By the way the answer is Water is to drink as bread is to food. Yeah yeah yeah it all makes perfect sense once ya know the answer lol PPS I did actually get that one right cos it was one of the examples lol

2008-04-05T19:28:00.004+08:00

I have just finished working so thought 'whats a good way to distress? What better way to vent than to post on the blog! I know that being a parking warden is truly scraping the bottom of the employment barrel but I would like to add that I also have little respect for someone who is going off at me because they have just been pinged for parking where they shouldn't. We have all done it (parked where we shouldn't and hope for the best) but really we all pretty much know that if we get caught we have to wear it so what the f**k are the matter with the people where I work. I go up to a car and say to the driver 'hi sir, you cant actually park here as you can see from the SIGN HANGING STRAIGHT ABOVE YOUR DUMB ARSE HEAD and he says 'so'. He says, 'I'm not moving'. Well, fair enough. I mean, why would ya! and that's what I said. 'Fair enough mate' but then hes really pissed at me when I hand him his $75.00 parking ticket and seems really freakin irate when I say just in passing as you do ' oh by the way, if you had of just parked over there it would have cost you 3 bucks for the whole night, but not to worry you have a nice night anyways! Tosser! I have the greatest of understanding for stupid laws and I fully concede that we don't have enough parking where its truly necessary ie hospitals and the like but its hardly my bloody fault is it! Then just to top a fabulous working evening off I have to train home with the drunks that want to fight over who should of, did or didn't win the game. By that time of night I want to scream at them that if they don't sit down and shut up I am gonna book them for parking where they shouldn't lol. Today it was widdling down with rain and we trudged around like bit fluro drips but I looked the prettiest because my glasses kept fogging up lol lol lol. Oh so attractive. Right I am off for a hot shower and a glass/bottle of Dolcetto Syrah and a good movie hopefully. Have a great weekend xx PS I forgot to tell you about this flustered lady who wanted me to guide her and her HUGE 4x4 into a parking bay. Now let me explain that I am super useless at two things in this life #1 is my sense of direction and #2 is parking into a straight on parking bay in a big vehicle. I sooooo didn't want to help this lady. Andy always says to me (when he is guiding me) things like left hand down, right hand down or whatever so here I am saying ok 'turn the wheel that way' while pointing up the road and straighten the wheels, no hang on I don't mean that sort of straight I mean turn the wheels so they are straight ahead towards the curb (well I was confused alot lol). Honestly the lady did this little bunny hop and I squealed at her to stop cos she was so close to the car beside her that I could not have gotten a piece of paper between the two vehicles. It was scary. In the end a bloke offered to help and I thanked him profusely and walked away super quick without meeting this womans eyes lol

2008-04-03T16:56:00.002+08:00

Hi all. Im feeling such pressure cos a few people have told me they are waiting for a new post so now Im thinking ooooo errr what should I type. I do have some news. I had a car drive into the back of me at some lights on Saturday morning which caused enough damage for my car to be in the shop for a week. Thats a bummer! I rang the prison recruitment on Monday to see if they had any news on a pass or fail the panel interview and low and behold I passed. Im kind of hoping that I dont ever work with the beef head that was part of that interview because Im not convinced we are ever going to get along but anyway I am now working my butt off trying to get up to fitness level speed as I have that next week. I am so close to being at a passable push up stage but I dont think I am quite there so today my arms are so sore from practising that I can hardly get a coffee to my lips. I am trying but no gold star yet! All else is ok. I am now about 96kg which is exciting. I will post again in a few days xx

2008-03-25T20:18:00.002+09:00

OK so when is the love of exercise suppose to kick in?? I want to be like the ad where you leap out of bed, jump out the window and start powering along with your stayfree's lol! Instead I wake up, rub my eyes while feeling around for my specs. Look out the window think nup flag that for a bad joke and spend the rest of the day sulking because I haven't moved my fat arse all day! Why is it so bloody hard? I still have times when I feel like my lungs are going to fall out - what the hell is that all about. I did the ladder 3x today with my friend Bernie from work. I felt like it was the first time I had done it as I gasped and held onto the hand rails as I went up. My weight hasn't moved lately because I have become a bit of a junk food eater and it doesn't take much to stagnate your weight loss. Oh well its all onwards and upwards from here I guess or backwards and downwards if I don't rein in the ol junk food I'm grazing on. I am dreading seeing my surgeon in two weeks. Eeeek. I did my first stint as a parking warden on Saturday night and I have to say its about as low as a person to go walking around pouncing on people who have parked in the wrong place. When someone yells at me 'why don't you get a real job' I just want to say ' Shit mate Ill take whatever you re offering' lol. I really do struggle being a parking Nazi as I have been called but then I see my pay packet and remember why I do do it but then I see my reflection in my uniform and I think ' NO amount of money is worth this shame lol. My uniform is a fluro shirt with reflector strips on it and black pants and shoes and socks and the most attractive (not) wide brimmed hat with City of Subiaco stamped across the front of it. I don't actually fit the hat so it perches itself up on my head and I look something like a Benny Hill impersonator. I even put my fingers to my head like a scout leader and practice saying 'troop Dianne reporting for duty' hehehehe I even have a walky talky (well not until I have earnt it) so I can walk around saying to my friend 'breaker, breaker rubber duck, you got your earrrs on good budddddy?' Hope you lot are all parking in the correct places cos you never know when this wee warden might be walking the beat lol lol lol I'm off to practice my walk for the beat lol xx

Its good friday

2008-03-21T15:44:00.003+09:00

Hello all. Don't you just lovvve Easter? Man, I sure do. Well I have a wee bit to catch you up on. I got a phone call on Monday to say that the prison service had spoken to my Dr and were happy that my blood pressure was not going to be a problem and they would like me to attend the Perth Zoo (they have conference rooms) the next morning at 7.30am for a panel interview. I was in two minds about this because to be honest I am a bit over the whole drawn out process and also from time to time people really start to get up my arse and I really question political correctness and just want to tell people what I think their problem is, so, when that happens I'm best left alone to work it out until I get back on an even keel (this is usually a pre menstrual thing but who cares what the reason) anyhow I told the lady I would be there. I set off on our fantastic transport system which consisted of a train at 6.00am into Perth then a ferry across the river. It was very dark when I left but as the sun came up while I was on the ferry it made a beautiful, thoughtful start to the day. So I arrive at the zoo at 7.05am - better early and wait, than stressed out and late. So I got let into the zoo at 7.30am and was given 5 pages of questions that were going to be asked and I could write the answers down and then verbally give my response. At 8.15am this enormous prison officer greets me and takes me into the interview room where I am introduced to another little prison officer and they both sit down on one side of the desk and I sit opposite. So the interview begins. Now I have to tell you that it was about 15minutes into the interview when Mr Big really comes into his own and tries to act like a gruff, tough, try hard and weather that was his intention or not I don't know but as I explained earlier I wasn't in any mood to try and prove my worthiness to this clown so by the end of the interview and after I had told him I likened the two of them to Laurel and Hardy I left! One example was I was asked what was my understanding of the aboriginal people and what did I think some of their problems were and how would I solve these problems. Now this question really did stump me. I work for social welfare and I see one side of a particular race or age or attitude but you cant categorise one lot of people from my experience because its a much broader picture. So I said to Laurel I don't know how to answer this question and he looked at me really irritated and said 'Right if you are walking down a street and its sunset. Coming towards you are 6 white guys, dressed well obviously just finished work. How would you feel? I responded by saying 'fine'. Then he said You are walking down the same road at sunset and 6 drunk rowdy scruffy Aborigines are coming towards you. How do you feel? I said 'vulnerable'. He said ' and that's just stereo typing'. I said. 'no its not'. He said 'it is so' as he lent back in his chair with his arms folded. I lent forward and said if you had of said the six white guys were pissed I would have said I felt vulnerable too, but you didn't. I said, 'it was the word 'pissed'' that made me think I would have been open to a problem not the race. I could be wrong but he sure acted like I wasn't answering like he wanted me too. So, I now wait to hear what happens next but I'm pretty sure he wont be recommending me. If I do manage to get in I'm not entirely sure I will take the job although I'll obviously consider it then. I have been working in our local office this week which has been great for the no travel factor. I had a job interview on Thursday (another one at 7.30am in town) as a parking metre maid. Just while the footy season is on and just on the weekends so I start that tomorrow. That'll give me more experience in customer aggression : )
I'm only really taking it because it may give me a chance to get a full time job for the local council as a ranger. I quite like the idea of working outside and it ll be good exercise lol. I have continued on with jogging this week but I miss doing the ladder so I look forward to going back to my city office for the lunchtime torture. Well time to sign off. Happy Easter to you all. I hope you have a lovely one and enjoy a bit of choccy. Not me I'm getting through the licorice! Any idea what problems I might be having! xx PS I can run 4k's now without stopping.

My own little marathon morning

2008-03-12T12:36:00.003+09:00

Woo hoo today I have the day off work. My eldest son has mental illness/brain injury and I have to take him to the Dr's which has taken me three weeks to get the appointment so I decided that I would also see my Dr and have all the usual ageing tests that one is suppose to have done so what a darn good reason to have a day off. I was feeling a bit flat because I wouldn't be doing Jacob's ladder with my work mate and am one of those people who needs a bomb under her butt to get moving so didn't think I would do any exercise today but...............................I got up, put on my runners and I jogged for 35mins straight! Yep 35 minutes. Woo hoo for me. By the time I got back onto my road I had the stupidest grin on my face and even though the sweat was pouring off me I could still breathe quite calmly. I felt fantastic. I got in the car and measured it out and I had run 3.7 K's. Honestly half way through I was talking to myself and it went something like 'cmon just to the next street then ok you can stop when you get to that house down there' etc and I did it the whole way till I saw my house. I feel really pleased to have accomplished this little goal. I will be happy when I can jog 10 K's and will slowly work my way up to that. After years and years of hearing 'exercise is a good thing' I think that 'they' might be right. xx

2008-03-09T20:19:00.002+09:00

Howdy Doody all, Not a great deal to report. I am having trouble keeping food down because I am greedy and forget to eat slowly then oops "i did it again'. Andy and I trained up to Perth on Sat and did the (((ladder))) and it hurt soooo bad. We decided we would try for 5 and I managed 7 while Andy did 6. Honestly I thought I was going to die and even when people were catching up with me I just kept gasping and if they wanted to go around me then fine but I was in no mood to move aside for them ( I knew if I lost momentum then I would have to roll back to the bottom)! I did notice that I recovered very quickly and within seconds my breathing was back to normal. This is amazing considering I usually sucked away on inhalers and wanted to pass out. We then walked back to the food mall and had lunch only I couldn't manage it and ended up being sick so I gave up that idea and had a small gelato which was delicious but not necessarily a healthy food choice. When we got back to Rockingham we went to a movie and I chowed down lots of popcorn and a ice cream so I guess that degates any weight loss from all that exercise!! Today (Sunday) is our rest day. My legs don't even feel like they had a massive workout. Thats such a bonus of getting fitter. I now weigh 98kg and feel very thrilled with that. Anything from now on is just a bonus. Will post again soon xx

From her husbands perspective

2008-03-06T16:50:00.004+09:00

Hi
I would like to say thanks to all those people who have taken the time to follow Dianne's journey and to comment.
This is the first time I have said anything on this site.
Let me start by saying that I too have always had a problem with my weight maybe not the same issues that Dianne was dealing with more like me just being lazy.
I have really seen a change in Dianne since she decided to go for the operation, she has been determined to loose weight and had lost quite a bit through dieting prior to the operation.
I was aware of what the operation was and what it involved, but until you experience it ,it doesn't seem so real. However now that we have experienced it for some time things like having lunch out together, me quietly eating, my wife productive burping beside me have taken some getting use to. Life is some what different but at least we are still spending time together.
I was going to start the process and as I sat in the surgeons office I decided I would give it a go by losing weight through diet and exercise. I started exercising like crazy and started to loose weight I am now also making much better food choices, currently I have lost 20 kilos.
I owe alot of this to Dianne who had the courage to have a life changing operation,I thought to myself that it was time for me to start changing,and I am.
My exercising has encouraged Dianne to really start and we now spend time doing that together as well.
I am extremely proud of my wife and will keep on encouraging her, she has done so well. I am much more used to productive burping and sliming now, and am happy to continue with my meal as though nothing is up.
But really there is no choice and nothing to grumble about, the choices ; have my wife around for a lot longer and healthier or to see her slowly killing her self,no choice at all.
This is an ongoing change, the surgery was only part of the process. It certainly is not the complete solution, There is still alot of work ahead of both of us ;I am just glad we can go through it together. Regards Andy

Anyone got a job going?

2008-03-05T14:12:00.001+09:00

Hi all. Well I had one of those little 'life curve balls' thrown at me yesterday. Went for the medical for the prison service and failed due to high blood pressure. I find it all a little ironic as 6 months ago I was over 60 packets of butter heavier than I am no and I can jog and cycle and even do 6 YESSSSS 6 push ups and my blood pressure is the highest I have ever known it to be! I really arent that sad about the job although I think I would have enjoyed it I am realllllllllly gutted that for the first time in such a long time i had something that I had started really loving working towards (fitness test). I know I can find something else but right now I just wanna sulk for awhile. I am back to the job drawing board and want to put my middle finger up to every thought of exercise lol but I wont be beaten. Maybe this is what I need to make me think about my career choices. I kinda like the idea of working outside so may look at council work or something. Hey the good news is that when Doogie Howser (the Dr was about 12) weighed me I was under 98kg. That was exciting. Right must be off to see my GP now about a blood pressure plan and probably medication. What a shit! xx
PS I am back from the quack who gave me blood pressure pills and new inhalers. She said in her broken english that I will be on the meds for life! I dont agree with that and will now make it my mission to prove her wrong but will also take the meds until I know it is safe to trial coming off them. I havent exercised for two days and that will change from tomorrow because already I am feeling defeated and have a 'who gives a rip - what's in the fridge' attitude. So folks, onwards and upwards from tomorrow on. Thanks to the kind person who leaves me comments I really do love getting feedback. xx

2008-03-01T15:30:00.000+09:00

This morning I was up and out the door at 7.30am so I could arrive nice and early totally not stressed to have my interview with the psychologist. Well I arrived in good time and was seen quite promptly and so began 70 minutes of 'so, how does it make you feel' sort of stuff. I really couldn't judge how I went by the end of it. I know some of my answers probably would have raised her internal eyebrows but I decided I wasn't going to compromise who I am for a job. She asked a lot about me and drinking! The questions were, do you consider you have a drink problem? Would others think you have a drink problem? How often do you drink? How much do you drink? When do you drink? Bloody hell by the end of it I wanted to say 'you don't happen to have a bottle of something stashed under your desk do you'? So once again its just wait, wait, wait! Tuesday is the medical and if I get any further than that I will have the fitness soon after the medical I imagine. I jogged 1.1km without stopping today and out of alllllll the crazy exercise stuff that was the most exhilarating thing I have done in a very long thing. It was absolutely fantastic to jog the whole way and see the end in sight knowing I hadn't stopped. It took about 6 mins so I don't have clue if that's good or bad all I know it was a terrific feeling. I know for many of you reading this that doesnt sound like much of a feat but for someone who has been so fat she has had to limp when standing up until her legs can hold her weight well I feel great. I havent a great deal that I am proud of in my life (except the usual of family and marriage) but I am really really grateful for what the band has given me and teh freedom I now have to live a more functional life. I don't think it is for every obese people and I wish I could have acheived where I am without it but for those that just can't battle obesity any longer it is such a blessing. Will post again mid week or once I here today's results x

Pppft to fitness

2008-02-27T21:13:00.000+09:00

I am over it I tell ya (fitness that is). we bought a beep test CD and decided to practice cos its a big part of getting into the prison service we whoa its soooo hard. I thought that I had to get to level 7.1 and busted my ass over and over again but crapped out at level 3.2. Well I had a paddy and a grizzle and stamped my foot then I read the entry exam test sheet again and realised I read it wrong and I have to get to 3.6. Wooooo Hooooo at least I think I can make that within the time frame - its about 3 weeks till I have to do it. The push ups are still winding me up but I am gonna keep on huffing and puffing until I get it - well at least one of them anyway lol. I have to go and see the psych's on Saturday and I have to have a medical next week so Ill keep you posted. xx ciao for now from your friend the fitness try hard !!

I Passed

2008-02-22T21:10:00.000+09:00

Just wanted to tell you all I passed the psych test and next weekend I have to meet with the psychologists and do a face to face. I have been trying to build my fitness up but have had a couple of shocking asthma attacks so thats scaring me a bit. I will persevere and go to the Dr next week if the weaze persists! x

What the!

2008-02-18T20:45:00.000+09:00

Today I left for work at 5.45am so that I could take the train in with my bike. You arent allowed on the train during peak time with a cycle and you have to be out of the station by 7.00am so I wanted to play it safe and ended up getting to work at 6.30am AND IT WAS STILL DARK. I parked the bike in the basement and at 2.00pm I left work to cycle home. Once I got to the waters edge (Swan river) I knew I was in BIG BIG trouble because it was soooo windy that people were jogging past me - DON'T LAUGH. I pedalled for dear life and honestly I thought mine was gonna end it was so bloody hard going. Andy had said to me 'just wait till you have left the river you wont have any wind it will be totally sheltered'. Ummm WRONG. It blew and blew and I huffed and puffed. Honestly it was miserable and I was seriously thinking I would dump the bike in the grass somewhere and jump on a train. Well I persevered and apart from pulling faces and poking tongues at the racing bikes that went wirring past me I had a pretty ok attitude. Some of those racers bike pants cost more than my bike which I paid a grand $89.00 for from Target. Bloody show offs lol. Andy called me to see where I was and when I told him I was still a fair hike from home he came looking for me and I must say I was very glad to put the bike in the car 6km short of where I was going. We have our house on the market and our agent rang in the middle of a steep hill. He had some people to bring through the house and like I told him 'I cant breathe mate, I couldnt give a rip' lol. So that was the big bike ride for the day. I did manage to eat a bag of chips and a small picnic bar on the way though. How depressing. I probably didnt even work it all off. Now there's a great comforting thought to go to sleep on! Night night x

Flippin early start to a sunday!!!!

2008-02-17T16:26:00.000+09:00

Well today started when the alarm went off at 5.45AM so that I could get ready for the psych test for the prison service. It was a bit of a struggle to get enthused about that I tell ya! I headed to Perth with my trustee navigator. I arrived at my destination at 7.10am almost going cross eyed from needing the loo. I had to find the nearest Macca's for the loo and so de stressed over a fantastic coffee for another 20 minutes then headed back to the acadamy. It was such a long process from there. 4.5 hours of questions and more questions. Honestly they were the most stupid questions and then you had to give an answer. Things like 1. Do you get so angry that you want to hit some one or throw things or 2. Do you like to regularly read about murders and violent crimes..................... Well the answer is no to both! But you had to give an answer. 4.5 hours of that! Anyway its over now and I shall just wait and see. Will let you know when I hear. I am heading to work at 5.45am tomorrow so that I can take my bike on the train (not aloud on the train after 7am until 9am weekdays) and then I will cycle home again as it is a cool 27 tomorrow. I am going to fit in a ladder as well. I am on a bit of a mission as I just ate 2 chewy chocolate bar things and half a moro (like a mars) bar. I also ate some rice and gravy tonight which is quite solid after a few days of smoothies alone. We went out for dinner two nights ago and I managed to lose probably about $15 worth down the loos. Will post soon. See you x

Tour de Perth

2008-02-15T14:15:00.000+09:00

Andy and I cycled from Kwinana to Perth today. Its about 33 kms and I must say that by the time we started cycling back I was really feeling it in my arse and legs. We jumped on a train home from the Canning Bridge station so in total probably rode 36kms. We had a sandwhich when we reached Perth but I couldnt keep it down so luckily I had taken a bag of lollies and I ate some of those for some glucose. We set out at 10am and was in Perth by 12.00pm so I was rapt with that time especially as this was our first attempt. I feel really good now we are home but very sore butt. Its magic riding along the Swan river. I really felt like I had achieved something. Will post again on Sunday xx (after the psych test)

A psych test to make you nuts!

2008-02-14T07:48:00.000+09:00

Quick post to update. I can't find it anywhere but I thought that I had posted that I had put an application form to the prison service to become a Prison Wardon. Well yesterday I got a letter to advise that this sunday they want me for 4 hours to complete a psych test. ((((4)))) hours worth. So I am contemplating weather I will even go for it not because of the test but because I aren't sure I even want to do it. I still can't decide what I want to be when I grow up. I think one of the really off puters is the fitness test and the 7 push ups - man style and the beep test which is kinda making me gulp. I am pretty sure I can fluke the psych test but on the ground trying to heave out 7 push ups is not quite inspiring me. I will keep you updated. This whole fitness thing is fun when you don't have to do it but the thought of trying to keep it to a level that I can scale a wall chasing some prison leaves me thinking I'm likely to say 'ah, let em go' or 'I'll grab the tazar' lol. Anyway I'll keep you posted on the decision.