To those who check in to see whats happening my apologies In the last two months we have had Emma wedding, another son on the edge of getting divorced, Andy (hubby) at the academy training to be a prison officer. Anyway its all been full on.
I visited another surgeon this week as my original weight loss surgeon said he didn't need to see me anymore and I felt like I was just floating out in a big ocean. So, off I went to see Dr kierith in Perth. He was fantastic. Dr Hamdorf had kept a running telly of my fills and I know without a doubt that I had 9.5mls in the band (the band is 11mls) but when Dr Kierith took all the fill out he only got 6mls????? I don't know whats going on there. I then had a wack of a fill put in (buggered if I know how much was put in) and all the way home I had to be sick cos I couldnt even keep my swallow down. So home I got then back to Perth for a bit to be taken out. Its all a bit of hit and miss but right now even though the band is tight I can still eat and drink be in very little amounts! Most exciting of it all though was Dr Kierith said he will give me a tummy tuck about June when I get to my personal goal. Very excited about that. A friend of mine at work has just had one and I am keen to see how Dr Kierith did with hers. I will pre warn you that when the time comes I am going to put up some before and after photos so hopefully you will get a wee warning before so you can decide if you want to see. Im not sure why you would but some people following this journey are doing the band themselves so they are keen on all the gory details! Work is great. Would love to be able to put up some stories but that's got to be a no go zone. Andy is in the can from the first of April which I am really looking forward to. Hope you are well. Happy 50th Birthday to my big sister in NZ. Wish I was there. xx

So much news so little time. I rang another weight loss surgeon who also does tummy tucks and he is happy to see me with a veiw to do the plastic surgery so I have an appointment in March (obviously the waiting time is getting huge with these surgeons now). I am really looking forward to it and the fact his tucks are only $3500 so thats going to be a huge saving if it pans out. He has been doing them for 15 years as well as the lap band so he must have some pretty good experience. It will give me more time to get my wieght down a bit too. Dr Allen was interesting with his questions to me when I saw him. He really nailed it when he said its hard to stay motivated to lose wieght when someone gets more and more lose skin as they are hyper critical anyway then they have to deal with the (ugliness) of whats left. I must say thats how I feel.
My daughter is getting married in 2 weeks so I am hard out trying to lose a few kilos (as always try and do a years worth of dieting in 4 weeks lol) My mum and Aunty are coming over from NZ and so is some ex in laws so it will be great to see people I havent seen for years (I still get on the the ex in laws). Sadly my daughter is suffering from obesity too and it really breaks my heart. She has a short stature so cant carry any extra wieght without it looking like a lot more. I know better than anyone there is nothing I can say to her but I just gently try and encourage her. Funny how my boys are all race horses and my girl is the one with a wieght problem (aint it always the way). I will put some new photos up over the next few days. Oh and the last bit of news is that my sone and his girlfriend are having a baby. It sorta went like this on Christmas eve. (Amongst the tears) by the way mum Toni is pregnant
(((((((((MERRY CHRISTMAS))))))))))). i am over the shock now but still very sad for him as he is only 17 but I have learnt that you can educate and advise but at the end of the day they are going to do whatever the hell they want to do regardless! xx

Update Update

Hello. Well it looks like I still get hits so I am gonna try and keep blogging. I went and saw Dr Allen about the tummy tuck. Fuck what a soul destroying kind of adventure that was. Don't get me wrong he was lovely but when you have to undress and he picks up your stomach and starts giggling it around whist grunting mmmm very heavy and saying no wonder you are so critical of your shape miss. I left feeling somewhat down but somewhat excited that I had taken the plunge. I thought still having 20kg to go (according to BMI) he would say wait but he said do it now which was great. Well it would be better if I had 8k on standby. I have tentatively booked it in for April. It is going to be painful but as I have had a Caesar and he said a tuck isn't as bad then I am OK with that lol. He will remove about 5 kg so that's 5 I don't have to work at hehe. One of the ladies is having it done for $3500 by her wieght loss surgeon so I am going to talk to his surgery to see if he will take on another Dr's patient and if he will I will ask him to see me. Be great to save that extra money. I havent done too much exercise due to the heat (yeah well that excuse works for me ok) but will get back into it soon. Blog soon xx

Hi all (if anyone is still reading this) I cant believe it was the beginning of December since the last post. Far out. I dont know where the time has gone. Andy (husband) is now at the academy training to be a prison officer. He will be posted at the same prison as me which will be great. I havent loss anymore wieght but didnt gain anything over Christmas. I did however gain 3kg after Christmas so go figure that. Dam it. Gosh its still an ongoing battle. I have an appointment to see a plastic surgeon tomorrow for a tummy tuck. I will post the outcome of what he says. Such a lot of money but I feel like it will be worth it to finish the journey as it were. Will post again after the appointment. Happy New Year to you all

Nearly Christmas again

Hi all. This will be a short post as I don't have much time. I was just thinking 'stuff' and thought I must blog.
I am trying to write a book. Not sure how it will go cos its one of those things that probably will never get finished but I just had to share the first page which goes something like this.

Its six pm on a Wed night and I am sitting in Prison Unit G. I have just started night shift. I cant believe that only a year ago I was 40kg heavier wondering where the hell my out of control life is going and yet here I am now only one short year later fitter than I have ever been in my life doing whats become my absolute dream job! I am so grateful to God for the miracle of modern medicine and what it has done for me. I am so grateful to my surgeon for his expertise and I am so so so so so proud of myself for getting of my oversized ass and doing something positive to get me out of the cesspool I was spinning around in.


Well anyway it needs lots of work but you know after all this time I can now say it was absolutely worth all the fears and it has given me a hope for the future that I couldn't possibly of had at 135kg. If you are thinking of doing this then think long and hard because its not easy but my goodness it can open up a door that the sun just streams through when your world may be pretty blimmin bleak where you are now.

I ran 5.3km yesterday which has been my goal for weeks and now I have made it. I took 33min and my knees hurt now but when I rounded a corner and saw the finish line ahead of me (I measured it out in the car) I had the goofiest smile on my face that its worth every bit of ache I have now. I also want to congratulate my sister who finished the Kerikeri half marathon a couple of weeks ago. Exercise doesn't come too naturally to my family so that was no easy task for her and she did it. Well done Bon!
Well that's it for me right now. Merry merry Christmas to each and everyone of you. May the joy of the season rest on you all. Be safe and love your loved ones. May 2009 be our year to shine xx

Another huge gap since I last posted

Time is just flying and posts are getting further and further apart. I'm going to try and change that although I don't always have much news.
I went and saw Dr Hamdorf last week. I was hoping to get another fill but he soon put the brakes on that. I am about 92 or 91 or 94 kg depending on what time of the day/week or month I get on them, Dr Hamdorf said that as I can still eat a fair amount of food and although I have restriction he would have thought I would have alot more given that in a 11ml bacd I have 10.5mls in that I can go for a buriameal (cant spell that) and he will consider giving me a stomach sleeve! I however completely reeled at the thought and have decided not to have the buriameal (liquid concrete drink) and just see what the new year brings. Going through another op and one so drastic is just a bit much for this head to get around right now. He also said he wanted me to see a plastic surgeon and see about a tummy tuck as he feels now is the time to consider that to be done. So easy for a Surgeon earning a squllion $ per year to suggest lol. I have made an appointment for Jan to see a plastic surgeon and at $ 7500 outta pocket expenses its isn't too bad well my MasterCard doesn't think so anyway. I'm going to ask about a boob job (never no maybe its discount for bulk). We haven't heard from the show so that might be that but it was fun anyway. They did say that at that stage it was still only an idea so I'm not sure if it is even going ahead. In the mean time I will see the plastic surgeon and get his advice. I have numerous fitness gurus at my work who all say that with exercise there will be no need to get a tummy tuck and I just nod and do a whole lot of ah ahhhhing cos there is no use in getting into a debate with that type of person. I tried to say to one of them 'listen buddy, try inflating a balloon for 40 years then deflate it and see if you can get it back into shape but they cant be told so I just nod and agree while I think about other stuff. One thing I have learnt through this journey is there are a lot of self taught experts on diet and exercise. Mostly they talk crap but I just let it go now cos I have learnt there is not good debating some expert lol.
I am thinking about doing a 7 day bike tour in March 09. Its all around the Margerot river/Bunbury region. You bike 60 - 90 kms a day. Im really keen to do it but as next year is a huge year in different costs (daughters wedding, mum and aunty coming to visit, girlfriend coming from NZ, tummy tuck, husband and son going to NZ then the three of us going to NZ) I might need to see how the over time is going before I book that one. It cost $1000 so will see. I still love my job. I had a prisoner tell me I look like I was in my 50s and he called me old girl. That kinda wrecked my day but Im over it now plus I had a new hair cut lol. Isnt it funny how words can wreck your day!
I am jogging 3 kms a day now - have stuck to it for a wee while now and I walk 2.3km at lunchtime when I am on duty. I feel heaps better for it too. I wish I could develop a love for exercise but I just find it a grind although I feel so great when its over!
I am still covered in this yucky rash thats driving me nuts with the itch but I cant seem to find whats causing it. I take enough hay fever pills to kill bees but still I have it.
No other news from me for now. I will post some new photos soon. I was looking for a fat photo to show someone at work and will scan the one I found it cos it was such a shock to me Ill be interested to see what you think ......................... xxx

Its been a while

Wow I cant believe its been so long since I last posted. It seems like just the other day but its almost been a month. So much has happened so Ill start from the beginning. I am now 92kg and only about 8 kg from goal. That's bound to change once I get there but that's my first goal. I am still a size 14-16 which suits me just fine. I have a lot of restriction so have to eat very slowly but that's a good thing for me otherwise I just guts food down. I am still hoping to get in to see my surgeon so I can discuss having the band removed and a sleeve performed (where they take 90% of the stomach away which includes 90% of the enzyme that causes us to want to eat. I don't think he will go for it cos I am considered a band success story but it would take the hassle of being sick and having to concentrate on eating away and I would really like that.
Next news! I was at work the other day and heard an ad on the tv for a make over show that is being made and they were asking for his and her applicants to apply. When I got home (it was 14hours later) I remembered the ad and went on line. I talked it over with my husband and we decided we would apply for a laugh. The application was quite detailed about the whys of wanting to have changes made to your body so after I had filled that in they then called for photos'. This is where I really need to ad that I WAS REALLY TIRED. I asked Andy to take some shots of me which he did both fully dressed then I stripped off to bra and knickers to show the after effects of losing 40 odd kilos. I did the same for him and then I hit send.About 5am the next morning I woke in a cold sweat when I realised I was dressed in full uniform. ID and everything. What a complete donkey! I cant believe I did that. Given that we should be anonymous or at least very discreet I go and shoot off a photo of me fully uniformed then nearly starkers. Shit! You know when you are really deep in thought about something you usually have a habit that goes with it. My mum whistles, my friend talks it out well I pace and talk to myself! Not the most balanced thing for someone to watch me do but that's what I do. Backwards and forwards jabbering on about the pros and cons of my next move. I very quickly decide I have to go to the highest person at work and humbly tell him what I have done (huge gulp). So I get to work and head to the office of the highest person, only I meet his secretary on the way and he wants to know why I want to speak to the main man and I have to squeak out that I don't want to tell him that its private AHHHHH. I am now feeling about a quarter of an inch high. This then intrigues the secretary and he follows me into the office and I have to spill my guts to both of them. Ripped off!!!!! I felt so stupid. Anyway the whole matter had to be put before security and they said it shouldn't be a problem. We got a call from the producers asking us to make an audition tape and send it to them so we did that but haven't heard anything more since then. The hilarious thing is it isn't quite like I thought and they don't offer any major plastic surgery mostly its diet and exercise advise but it would be great to have two weeks in Sydney anyway, So I will keep you posted on how we go, if anywhere.
My 17 yr old got his L licence the other day so he wants to drive us everywhere. Talk about hold on for dear life. Gosh I hate it but i am trying to swallow hard and be brave. I am obviously one of those pain in the ass parents who continually squawks 'watch out' move over. slow down' so I don't know how long the kid will put up with that. Lessons with a professional are definitely on the cards. Well gonna sign off now and will add more soon. promise!