Saturday, July 12, 2008
What a bugger of week its been. No particular reason but its just been a pain in the neck and I am glad its over. I am having trouble with 'woman's' problems and weather that's causing my weight to stay stagnant I don't know but I just cant seem to budge the scales. My surgeon said to me to eat whatever I want cos I will lose weight cos I cant eat big quantities. Well baa baaow! Wrong! I can eat chips (cold) till the cows come home and I can eat enough to gain weight AND I can seem to eat any sort of cake I want that doesn't get stuck So, this week I am going to behave and move the scales and I am going to get back into exercising.
Training has been tough. I really struggle with the militant side of it as I have already said. I just don't think when I am there about hierarchy etc. I have always had a problem with people or the perception that people are talking down to me. Last week I was freezing and walking along with my hands in my pocket when this booming voice behind me said 'Ms M...., are your hands cold?' I replied 'yes freezing, thanks for asking'. It didn't occur to me that I was being told in a round about way to get them out of my pockets and it wasn't until someone poked me in the side and said 'get your hands outta your pockets' through gritted teeth did it click! Then I really screwed up on Friday and got in huge trouble. We had a guest speaker and I swear this man looked like Abe Lincoln. He started his talk and I don't know where he was from but he had an incredibly thick German or Polish accent. I got the giggles. I couldn't stop. The more i tried to the more I cried with laughter. It had this huge roll on effect and suddenly half the class were almost off their chairs with laughter. This lasted for an hour. When we got back to class the manager and another came in and screamed at us. It was warranted and bloody rude of me I know but I just couldn't get my act together. Oh well - shouldnt beat myself up I guess. I just wish it was all over and I could get into the actual job. Well I will sign off now and go for a walk. Have a good week and dont have your hands in your pocket either lol
Training has been tough. I really struggle with the militant side of it as I have already said. I just don't think when I am there about hierarchy etc. I have always had a problem with people or the perception that people are talking down to me. Last week I was freezing and walking along with my hands in my pocket when this booming voice behind me said 'Ms M...., are your hands cold?' I replied 'yes freezing, thanks for asking'. It didn't occur to me that I was being told in a round about way to get them out of my pockets and it wasn't until someone poked me in the side and said 'get your hands outta your pockets' through gritted teeth did it click! Then I really screwed up on Friday and got in huge trouble. We had a guest speaker and I swear this man looked like Abe Lincoln. He started his talk and I don't know where he was from but he had an incredibly thick German or Polish accent. I got the giggles. I couldn't stop. The more i tried to the more I cried with laughter. It had this huge roll on effect and suddenly half the class were almost off their chairs with laughter. This lasted for an hour. When we got back to class the manager and another came in and screamed at us. It was warranted and bloody rude of me I know but I just couldn't get my act together. Oh well - shouldnt beat myself up I guess. I just wish it was all over and I could get into the actual job. Well I will sign off now and go for a walk. Have a good week and dont have your hands in your pocket either lol
Saturday, July 05, 2008
It feels like such a long time since I last posted. I have lost the 4kg I gained after the chicken incident so I am thrilled with that. I haven't been all that well with a combination of sheer exhaustion, a cold and 'ladies problems' so I am feeling extra knackered.
I have just finished one of the hardest weeks of training so far where it was all about learning weapons and self defence which was so difficult for someone who struggles with violence and even though I know I may need to use this one day (prayerfully not) its still a huge shock and really hard to change my thinking. I managed to end up in tears twice throughout the week and yesterday I - and the trainers thought I had broken my arm after one of the actors that is used to act violently towards us whacked me so hard I went flying! I got home last night and literally could not lift my arms any higher than about 8 inches from my side. I got capsicum sprayed on Wed and let me tell you it was the most excruciating thing I think I have ever done. It was freaking miserable in fact I was so naive to it I thought I was going to have a panic attack. My face and mouth and eyes and forehead and hand burnt like they were in hot fat. Honestly, it was bloody crazy it was so sore. It took a good 30 minutes of dousing myself before I could feel ok enough to keep my eyes open. Never again that's for sure!
I have a number of clashes throughout the week with my trainers as they have been very militant and I struggle beyond belief with that but at the end of the day I got through and ultimately I can now throw someone off me should I end up with someone on top of me on the ground and I can hook punch, bitch slap, front strike quite well so all in all it was quite successful or it will be when the bruises go away!
My mum and dad in law are here from NZ for the next three weeks so I am off to start cooking dinner. Catch you soon xx
I have just finished one of the hardest weeks of training so far where it was all about learning weapons and self defence which was so difficult for someone who struggles with violence and even though I know I may need to use this one day (prayerfully not) its still a huge shock and really hard to change my thinking. I managed to end up in tears twice throughout the week and yesterday I - and the trainers thought I had broken my arm after one of the actors that is used to act violently towards us whacked me so hard I went flying! I got home last night and literally could not lift my arms any higher than about 8 inches from my side. I got capsicum sprayed on Wed and let me tell you it was the most excruciating thing I think I have ever done. It was freaking miserable in fact I was so naive to it I thought I was going to have a panic attack. My face and mouth and eyes and forehead and hand burnt like they were in hot fat. Honestly, it was bloody crazy it was so sore. It took a good 30 minutes of dousing myself before I could feel ok enough to keep my eyes open. Never again that's for sure!
I have a number of clashes throughout the week with my trainers as they have been very militant and I struggle beyond belief with that but at the end of the day I got through and ultimately I can now throw someone off me should I end up with someone on top of me on the ground and I can hook punch, bitch slap, front strike quite well so all in all it was quite successful or it will be when the bruises go away!
My mum and dad in law are here from NZ for the next three weeks so I am off to start cooking dinner. Catch you soon xx
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