What a month its been since my last post. I managed (drum roll please) to gain 6 yes SIX kilos in six weeks!!!!! What a farking success story I am! So I decided to go see Dr Fill who was shocked and thought 'Ill teach the guts a lesson" and gave me a fill from hell. My first day back on duty and I had to sign off a lunchtime so I could get to Dr Fills office for a unfill so I could swallow. I seem to be at a comfortable place now.
We are moving to Karratha on the 05/12/09 which is super exciting (and Dr Fill) works up there once a month. The movers came in today and measured up for the move. We went and bought a 4x4 Holden Rodeo twin cab (yawn its a boring old white car to me) but it will be fun to go bush bashing lol.
We have been offered a 4x2 house in Karratha that is brand new so am most excited about that. Our daughter and husband are moving with us so that will be lovely to..........................I think! Long time since we lived together eeeeek. Will post again soon. xxxxxx

Well for all my poxing on about not getting a fill I lasted a week. When I went and had a Grand Angus burger from Mcdonalds (it was really good) I decided that after 2 years of the band I have learnt nothing and needed to get a fill put in. I went on Thurs to see Dr Fill and he gave me one till the needle couldnt get another drop in (8.9mls) and now I am so tight I cant have a drink AHHHHHHHHHH. For all those that read this you will be thinking Im nuts but you know after 2 years of this journey the thought of being able to just eat and not be in control or feel full is scarey. Its so easy to be a diet expert if you havent battled like truly obese people do and to be honest I am still one of those experts even when I cant get my own crap together. If someone says to me anything about dieting I give them a whole run down on what they should or shouldnt be doing only I cant get it together myself or take my own advice. I managed to put 4 kilos on in just over a week without the fill and for 7 of the 9 days I was really really good food wise. So I dont know whats up with that. Anyway I will soldier on and in a couple of days will be able to eat small and drink again. I am off to Qld in Nov to be a matron of honour for my friend. Very exciting to be going over there. So must get off to look for a dress. Blog you soon xxxx

Hi ya, Well its been quite a week. I had the novasure procedure on Wed morning. I was booked in as a private patient amongst a whole stack of other ladies. It was a real cattle station. Just all lying around waiting to have our uterus' zapped. Anyway I was third on the list and before too long was wheeled off to the operating theatre. I love that feeling of being put to sleep. Just drifting off but let me tell you that's about where the fun stopped cos when I came too I had very little balance and was vomiting like there was no tomorrow. Not to worry though I was bundled up into the car and sent home (cos that's what ya do when you are a busy hospital) Man I have been sick. The procedure took 90 seconds (that's the true amount of time to do the zap) but its Sunday and I am still trying to stem the nausea and imbalance thing. Apparently I have had some sort of allergic reaction to the morphine so its a case of just riding it out. And what a ride it is. Pity it feels like a roller coaster. I had all my fill taken out on Monday, She took out 10mls. That left me 1 ml to get food down. No wonder I was unable to eat much. However, now woo hoo. I have eaten oranges and mandarins and rockmelon like there is no tomorrow. I had Brussels sprouts and prawns and fries for tea. Andy bought me this machine called a Teflon actifry and it makes the best chips and wedges I have ever had in only a tablespoon of oil. They are delicious and just like deep fried (REALLY)!!
I am suppose to have my fill put back on Thurs but am seriously thinking of just leaving it out for a while. I know I will put a bit of weight on but the pay off would be to have some good nutrition and give my body a break. After two years of throwing up I feel like giving myself a break and the other thing is that I have forgotten what an amazing thing our bodies are. I have just had my womb zapped to stop it ever producing another bub and I have cursed those periods big time but this last week has got me feeling quite nostalgic about what a wonderful service my body has given to me and how even after I have starved it for two years it is still working for me and functioning for me and being faithful to me. I am feeling like the least I could do is feed it up on some fresh fruit and veges. Well that's how I feel tonight. Who knows by Thurs what Ill be thinking lol

I made it! Got through 7 nights and didnt have a melt down although i am certainly still trying to catch up on some sleep now. Some of them were dreadful and some of them were just down right fun (well as much fun as working can be). We have one tosser of a Senior Officer who took it upon himself to pick on me and that made a really hard few days. Then one of the nights I had to watch cameras all night to the point I felt like I was going to go cross eyed. Anyway who cares its all done and now we are on 6 weeks holidays. We arent going anywhere but (dont hold me to this) we are going to spend the whole time doing the gym and running and walking and cycling thing eeeeek. I am getting a new bike for my birthday so am looking forward to treadling around the place.

My weight is about the 82kg mark still. I dont really look too much now. I just am happy that I feel ok with how I feel.

20/09/09
Update. I am off to have my entire fill removed so I can have a Novasure procedure on Wednesday. This makes me really nervous. A, because I wont have any restriction and that means the sky is the limit for me food wise and b, because I always think I am gonna die when I have an operation so am freaking out about that.
ITs just a fairly minor thing but it does still freak me out. Hopefully its going to mean no more periods so it will be worth it (except if I die lol)
Will blog again after thursday to update you xxx

I am about to start 7 nights straight so thought I better update this real quick cos after about two I am gonna feel like I have lost my mind let alone 7. Don't know what the hell I was thinking by shift swapping into all those nights. Oh well when its over I get 6 weeks holidays woo hoo. Band is pissing me off right now. Its tight but not quite tight enough but after the last fill and having to get some out not really wanting to get anymore in. Not sure what to do. I have gone up 2 kgs which is a good indicator of needing more in but maybe just a half. Spose to be having my girlie op on the 23rd so will need all the fill out for that however things have really settled down after all these months of being outta whack. Always the way isn't it. Alicia our new grand baby is lovely. Still cant believe my son is a dad at 18 and still feel gutted for him in lots of ways but he is happy and doing great so who am i to feel bad for him. Our other granddaughter Kimberley keeps asking if we still love her. Ohhhhh kids. She just about took the top of her finger off in a door yesterday so has it all stitched back up and bandaged. Some heavy duty spoiling by Nanna is coming her way lol. Not much else to catch you up on. Will blog again when I am on holidays. Oh oh really exciting my in laws are buying me a push bike for my birthday. I am really excited about that. I have an old one but am looking forward to a better one and may try cycling to work from time to time. I am trying to get fitter but I hate it so its hard to get excited by it. Blog ya xxx

Woo hoo only 17 more days and I am on holidays. Oh hip hip hooray. We cant wait. I think its been about 2.5years since I have had a holiday and even though we aren't going anywhere I am sooooo looking forward to swimming and walking the dogs and lying in. Yippee. Going to have an obliteration instead of a hysterectomy so only 3 days for that recovery.
Weight is swaying around the 82kg mark. I think I am just about done. Not really going to lose anymore I don't think actually I am kind of happy with where I am at. I keep thinking when will enough be enough? I work with a bander and she is completely fucked in the head about her weight to the point we (that's her and I) think she is anorexic, Her wee statements like eating is overrated is a bit of a give away to her state of mind. Anyway its making me think I could easily get to the same state as her and I need to evaluate where I am going with my own goals and if I will really ever reach them. So, I have pretty much decided that if I can maintain where I am at then I have arrived! Its been two years next week since I started my band life. I cant believe its been that long. Its been quite a ride. Certainly a lot of downs but more ups I think. I will always be grateful for it that's for sure. When I go on my holidays I am starting to get my exercising back on track (well I say that now). Its so hard to get motivated. But that is the plan............................................... for today!
Will blog you soon xxxx

A huge week has just passed.
Firstly our second Granddaughter Alicia was born on the 14/08. Gorgeous but a rough start so its great she is fairing better.
I had a fill last week which became so tight that I couldn't swallow. I put up with it for 5 days but had it released yesterday and now am enjoying fluids again. 81.5kg on the scales which is a thrill albeit from starvation lol .
Work has been full on. We have put our names down on a transfer list hoping to get an offer of either Broome or Roebourne. Its a great package and an adventure. Hope it can work out. Good chance as they need officers up there.
lastly to top of my week the Dr told me I am in menopause. What a rip off that is! 42years old. Pffffft. and he added that I will have to look out for Osteoporosis (don't even know how to spell it lol. What the hell am I looking for?
Well thats it from me. Hope you are well. xxxx me
PS Check out the two new photos right at the bottom of the page xx