Hello all. So much is happening in our lives at the moment that I am just taking time to have a breather before I start another day. We have sold our house. That's the first thing and what a long drawn out rigmarole it is. We didn't think the sale was going to happen then we did then we didn't so its all been about...............waiting. It seems to be a season of just waiting and as I am a control freak I find waiting really difficult especially as so much has depended on what the outcome of the wait will be. We couldn't get a rental until the house sale was finalised and the buyers signed off on the deal and as it is a landlords market at the moment and every agency wants a weeks rent as an application fee (they call it an 'option fee' but blowed if I know what part is the OPTION cos no pay means no apply) and if you put in more than one application and happen to be offered more than one then you lose your OPTION fees on all the others! Now how legal that is I don't know but it sure puts me off applying for more than one. So last week I applied for a house and it took them a whole week to tell me that one of the other 30 applicants had been more successful so I started this week without knowing if we would have a home on Friday which is suppose to be settlement day. Anyway we finally got offered a place yesterday and we grabbed it so at least we have a place to live especially as my mum arrives from NZ on Friday and I was thinking she may have to have the bus stop seat while we have the grassed area! Then yesterday our settlement agent said she didn't know if the banks would be ready to settle by Friday. They do my head in! I am still waiting for my official letter from the Prison service offering me a job so surprise, surprise its another wait. At least my boss had some sympathy for me and gave me this week off. Anyway I best go and get some housework done - woo hoo. Hey on the up side the stress must be causing me to eat less cos I am 93kg today! Always look for a silver lining lol Have a good week xx PS Not sure if you scroll to the bottom of the page but there are some newish photos of me.It still feels like such a long way to goal especially when I look at photos but I just have to keep focused on how far I have come.

I am 95kg today! I cant believe that I am nearly in the 80's. Its been 7 years since I was there and then it was for the shortest time. I have had a very reflective weekend after I spoke to a very dear friend who had a massive health scare last week. I don't know what happens in our lives to make us give up on ourselves and then time and family and jobs and everything else just takes over and suddenly YEARS have gone and we are older, fatter, unfit, and tired and it all just feels too hard and too much to change. I am asked all the time if I regret or am glad to have had the band and up until now I have always kind of shrugged and said its not for everyone and I have had my regrets. I think sometimes because I have been embarrassed that I had to go to the measures I did to lose weight and often the people that ask me are not or have never struggles with true obesity and so I feel uncomfortable trying to explain/justify my choice of the band. Anyway after thinking about my friend I have decided that the band is a blimmin good idea for anyone who is at the end of their weight loss tether and wants to achieve permanent weight loss and change their lives in a very positive way. I still put in mammoth amounts of effort (and sometimes I fail and get frustrated) but all in all the band is the tool that has got me to where I am today including the change in my career. If anyone is thinking of the band I would seriously say (after you have seen Dr's etc) go for it PROVIDING you are willing to make life changes and exercise too. Finally, to my wonderful friend who will be reading this. I love you and am praying for changes in your circumstances. Hang on in there chick because life is going to get better xxxxxxx

Pinched this off a site cos I loved it. Enjoy

A garden for daily living
Plant three rows of peas:
Peace of mind
Peace of heart
Peace of soul
Plant four rows of squash:
Squash gossip
Squash indifference
Squash grumbling
Squash selfishness
Plant four rows of lettuce:
Lettuce be faithful
Lettuce be kind
Lettuce be happy
Lettuce really love one another
No garden should be without turnips:
Turnip for service when needed
Turnip to help one another
Turnip the music and dance
Water freely with patience and Cultivate with love.
There is much fruit in your garden
Because you reap what you sow.
To conclude our garden
We must have thyme:
Thyme for fun
Thyme for rest
Thyme for ourselves

4 Months on................

Hello all. My blog has become a bit off the weight loss journey and more on entering the prison service! I will get back to the weight loss journey very soon but wanted to let you know whats been happening on the prison stuff. As you all know I had the stupid literacy test and once again thought I had failed and might I say for good reason one of them being that on the last page of questions I just thought 'flag it' and guessed every answer without reading any questions. So as you can imagine I was completely shocked to be told the next day that I had 'passed with flying colours'!!! I still can't believe that! So all I had left was the fitness test which was booked in for 11.30am yesterday 12/04. I arrived after a very restless nights sleep. I think Andy and i thought I was training for some elite race or something. Andy woke me with a poached egg on toast (good protein apparently) and then a cup of tea. I was so nervous. ................................to be continued.
Sorry I had to go to work but now I'm back. So as I was saying I was so nervous the morning of the fitness test I felt like I had butterflies and caterpillars in my tummy. I arrived at the training centre at 10.30 hoping to watch someone else and to calm a bit. The 'commando' introduced himself and said that he was the fitness instructor for all the recruits and that we had to reach this minimum standard to be considered for a position and that he would not tolerate any weak attempts and expected full achievement to receive a pass. Well my nerves by this stage were jangling around. He said I looked really stressed which didn't help me at all. I thought I would be possibly ok if I could do the push ups first then the shuttle run then the agility test cos I felt that I would have the strength at the beginning to do the push ups but if they were last I wouldn't. I asked commando and he said 'nope, the order is shuttle then agility then push ups EEEEEEEK! He showed us how to do the shuttle run told us to warm up then we would start. I don't even know how you warm up so I just walked around looking like a twat! So then we lined up (there is me and two guys) one of whom is repeating his first attempt at the shuttle run. We start to the cd and we are off. Once I got to 2.8 I just thought I can do this and before I knew it I was told to stop as I had completed my shuttle run . The guy who was on his second attempt bombed out then too so that was it for him, The other guy finished. Then I had to the agility which I blitzed in 7.9 seconds. I had 8 seconds to do it. Then came the push ups and I was stressing. The commando said that we had to do them like 'this' and proceeded to show us what was expected of us. He showed us what was a fail and especially pointed out that not going down low enough would not be accepted. He said that he would repeat the number if we did one wrong. So I got down and into position. He said right go. I went down as low as I could and up. He said 'one'. I did it a second time a squeezed my eyes shut expecting to hear 'one' again but he said 'TWO". Wow I was pumped and thought 'I can do this". I went down again and came up to a 'three' and so on until I went down for the seventh and made that horrible grunting sound that says 'I am in pain here and not sure I can do this'. Commando lent right down and said 'don't you give up on me now. Suck it up and do it'. And I did! I passed the fitness test. I am truly proud of myself. I said at the start of this post that the blog had become all about the prison service but the fact is if it wasn't for the band I would never be where I am today and I am so grateful to have some life back. I am still around 96kg and part of that is I haven't been concentrating on good eating but more scoffing what I know will go down and that is usually high in calorie and I plan on changing that very soon now that my focus is a little less on achieving the fitness test goal. Thanks for reading about this journey I hope some of you are inspired to step out of your own comfortable boats and maybe go after something that you really want. Believe me, if I can you sure can. xx for now Dianne

So the saga continues

Just a quick post cos I want to update you on the Prison Service. This week I have the last two stages of the process. The literacy and the fitness. Now, although I don't have a particularly high opinion of myself out of all the stages of this ridiculous process the literacy is the only one I thought I would fly through not because I am particularly bright but I love reading and just life in general, the job I do and that I think my IQ is ok makes me think that I will do 'passable'. Well that little sucker was today and I turned up today and joined eight others for what I thought would be a bit of a breeze. OH BOY WAS I WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!!! It was all multiple choice and ALL they were (I forget the name these questions have) but I could call them a colourful one, they were those questions that go ........... is to drink as bread is to,,,,,,,,,,, . Out of everything they could of given me these are the worst cos I have never got it. Never never never. I just really struggle with them. In the end I was just colouring in any little box I wanted to. I would look at my answer sheet and notice I had answered 5 C's in a row so thought I better choose a different answer for the next one. I really bungled it! Well I find out tomorrow and honestly if I pass it is a miracle from God cos I did not do it on my own that's for sure. Will post again after I have the results. On a footnote I would like to add, What the heck are these agencies thinking. I send in a resume which is good enough to get me a first interview. I then do 5 hours of psych testing all of which is reading and written. Then the panel interview and I have to write my answers to all the questions I am being asked and I have to submit that to them at the end of the interview so I can obviously read, comprehend and write. Why would they then put someone through this nonsensical process? Surely the fact someone can read and write bloody well should be enough? By the way the answer is Water is to drink as bread is to food. Yeah yeah yeah it all makes perfect sense once ya know the answer lol PPS I did actually get that one right cos it was one of the examples lol

I have just finished working so thought 'whats a good way to distress? What better way to vent than to post on the blog! I know that being a parking warden is truly scraping the bottom of the employment barrel but I would like to add that I also have little respect for someone who is going off at me because they have just been pinged for parking where they shouldn't. We have all done it (parked where we shouldn't and hope for the best) but really we all pretty much know that if we get caught we have to wear it so what the f**k are the matter with the people where I work. I go up to a car and say to the driver 'hi sir, you cant actually park here as you can see from the SIGN HANGING STRAIGHT ABOVE YOUR DUMB ARSE HEAD and he says 'so'. He says, 'I'm not moving'. Well, fair enough. I mean, why would ya! and that's what I said. 'Fair enough mate' but then hes really pissed at me when I hand him his $75.00 parking ticket and seems really freakin irate when I say just in passing as you do ' oh by the way, if you had of just parked over there it would have cost you 3 bucks for the whole night, but not to worry you have a nice night anyways! Tosser! I have the greatest of understanding for stupid laws and I fully concede that we don't have enough parking where its truly necessary ie hospitals and the like but its hardly my bloody fault is it! Then just to top a fabulous working evening off I have to train home with the drunks that want to fight over who should of, did or didn't win the game. By that time of night I want to scream at them that if they don't sit down and shut up I am gonna book them for parking where they shouldn't lol. Today it was widdling down with rain and we trudged around like bit fluro drips but I looked the prettiest because my glasses kept fogging up lol lol lol. Oh so attractive. Right I am off for a hot shower and a glass/bottle of Dolcetto Syrah and a good movie hopefully. Have a great weekend xx PS I forgot to tell you about this flustered lady who wanted me to guide her and her HUGE 4x4 into a parking bay. Now let me explain that I am super useless at two things in this life #1 is my sense of direction and #2 is parking into a straight on parking bay in a big vehicle. I sooooo didn't want to help this lady. Andy always says to me (when he is guiding me) things like left hand down, right hand down or whatever so here I am saying ok 'turn the wheel that way' while pointing up the road and straighten the wheels, no hang on I don't mean that sort of straight I mean turn the wheels so they are straight ahead towards the curb (well I was confused alot lol). Honestly the lady did this little bunny hop and I squealed at her to stop cos she was so close to the car beside her that I could not have gotten a piece of paper between the two vehicles. It was scary. In the end a bloke offered to help and I thanked him profusely and walked away super quick without meeting this womans eyes lol

Hi all. Im feeling such pressure cos a few people have told me they are waiting for a new post so now Im thinking ooooo errr what should I type. I do have some news. I had a car drive into the back of me at some lights on Saturday morning which caused enough damage for my car to be in the shop for a week. Thats a bummer! I rang the prison recruitment on Monday to see if they had any news on a pass or fail the panel interview and low and behold I passed. Im kind of hoping that I dont ever work with the beef head that was part of that interview because Im not convinced we are ever going to get along but anyway I am now working my butt off trying to get up to fitness level speed as I have that next week. I am so close to being at a passable push up stage but I dont think I am quite there so today my arms are so sore from practising that I can hardly get a coffee to my lips. I am trying but no gold star yet! All else is ok. I am now about 96kg which is exciting. I will post again in a few days xx