Two year catch up

Oh goodness, It has been nearly two years since I posted. Wow I cant believe it. I haven't actually looked at this blog for probably the last year. Lots of reasons and Ill reveal all as we go on. It will take a while no doubt but you'll quickly get the idea.
So I had a lap band in 2007, Oh how I thought that was the miracle I was waiting for.  For a long time it was. I cant even tell you where or when it all started to slip away and before I knew it had just all slipped away and I had gained heaps of weight and I kept saying I didn't give a toss but I so did.
We moved to Karratha in 2009. I didn't expect to have so much problem getting fills but as we have one surgeon who flies in to make some good coin (Dr Keirith) and one GP that assured me the only way he could put fluid in was to take all the fill out then refill (this made me incredibly nauseous. It is the worst feeling when they do this as it disturbs the vagus nerve which is the one that makes you feel really ill for ages if its disturbed. So there you have it. One surgeon who would fill so tight then fly off muttering something about taking 20 days before you die from dehydration. Or I could go to see a very nice GP but who had no idea and would not be told he just didn't need to take all the fill out. I persevered for a while but ended up frustrated and resenting the Dr's. Towards the end it was tight enough to give me restriction then the bizarre started to happen. I could eat crunch which with a food addiction equates to this. Cereal and light milk for breakfast. Salad and steamed fish for lunch or tuna or veg and then for dinner meat and vege steamed of course.
Oh how I wish. What it really became with time was Toast for breakfast and lunch. Bizarrely I could eat 8 bits of toast at a sitting but could not eat a banana or stewed fruit or yoghurt. Then Id get pissed off and eat chips hot or cold would skid down. Hot chips were the best I could actually live on them and often did.  In January of this year I went to three different surgeons in Perth to get an idea of what I should do. All that I spoke to said where I lived was a big fail factor. I decided to end the misery and had the band removed in March 12 by Dr Hamdorf who is the same Dr that banded me. He agreed it had run its course. I think I was about 108 kgs in March. So from my lowest of 75kg I had gained 33kgs from my tummy tuck time. Gutted cannot express it. Devastated, ashamed, embarrassed were only a few of the emotions. Why couldn't I do this? Why couldn't I make this work. All the money, all the invested time, all the hopes and dreams lost. I was so looking forward to going back to NZ and seeing my family and being slim not to rub anyones nose in it but because I was proud to have stepped out of my comfort zone and be for once in my adult life slim.
My mum turned 80 in April and I went home to celebrate this event with her. I will never be able to explain the devastation of meeting with family that i haven't seen for years and followed this blog up until I stopped blogging two years ago. Now here I was standing in front of them and I could feel the question 'what the hell happened'. I just had to put on the brave face and 'oh well' answer and act like it was all cool.  But it wasn't cool. It was not ok! This was April so I had no band and I could go nuts with food. I tried so hard not too. But I was home and we are a family of foodies. So we had everything  to eat that I either don't get in Aussie or foods specific to our family get together like........ well........ cream. Cream and butter has to go with everything.  Seriously. I think we had 5 litres of cream and we used the lot and who knows how much butter but we ate all that too. Oh and fried bread. So I compensated how sad I felt with food. Not just cos I was ashamed but my mum had aged so much and didn't seem well,  in fact taken to hospital so I ate to make that feel better too. Its really hard when you haven't been home for a while and you see all the changes you missed out on. You get to see what you missed on which is no ones fault but it is hard to adjust to for sure. So I returned to Karratha wondering where my fat ass was gonna stop and how it could when I wasn't helping matters.
A month later the devastating news my mum has incurable lung cancer and its agressive. Of course what is going to help that.......cream and hot chips and anything else I fancied cos now the sky really was the limit. I realised I have no off switch. If I was full of one food Id just swap to another.  I was rebellious and ultimately I had lost the dream. Hope was gone and this was as good as it was going to get for me. I have the most wonderful husband and felt ugly and undeserving of him. That affected our relationship not massively but after one failed marriage I cherish what I have in Andy so I was worried how bad I felt and how that would hurt Andy.
I mulled over having a sleeve but have really struggled with the idea of cutting out my stomach. You know, really ugh. How desperate is that? How desperate am I?
Tuesday 28/08/12 I decided I was desperate enough and had a gastric sleeve. I spent the previous 2 weeks I did shake meal replacements 2 x a day then protein and veg at night for dinner, Then I got on that plane flew to Perth booked in to Hollywood hospital and voila here I am 5 days later sleeved.
My sleeve starting weight was 118 kg. Wow just so you don't have to look back over blogs that is 5 kg lighter than the day I had the band. Yep right back at the starting line. Stay tuned as I regularly update this blog. Promise xx

I think I have had one of the most frustrating weeks ever. I have battled every bureaucratic ninnie and I am just over them all. Why cant Aussie employ clear English speaking Dr's? To add to the pain of all of that I have been trying to kill the infection that I got. It seems to be clearing up but its far from right. I still have about a day and a half of meds left so here's hoping that ll kick it in the head. I still get a bit of a sting at the very start of the wound on my hip but the skin getting really comfortable. Still times of being tight but not too bad and certainly manageable. I still haven't reverted back to sleeping on my tummy but I almost could. Its just not quite comfortable enough. I cant wait to have my boobs done. That will be awesome. Hope you are all well. Blog ya soon

Oh great an infection

I have already typed the surgeon suggested i walk in water as a form of low impact exercise so a few days ago I though Id give it a go.Well wouldn't you know it if I dont go and get an infection just under my belly button.  I had some swine flu antibiotics left over so I took them not realising that all AB's arent the same. Luckily my nurse friend corrected me and off I trotted to the Dr's. I got some golden staph AB's and hopefully that ll kick it in the head.
Boy I hope so. The one thing I have tried so hard to avoid is an infection of any kind so this was a real step back for me. Interestingly the Dr said he thought it was probably from a broken suture that has made its way to the surface and may pop out of the wound. Now that's something to look forward to lol xx 

A funny thing happened today

Completely off losing weight subject. We have two Labradors. Murphy and Lilli. They were going to be husband and wife but after her first two seasons Murphy it seemed didn't know how to be a stud so we decided that we would have her and him fixed and just having them as pets. We went away for two weeks a couple of weeks ago and when we got home I said I thought Lilli looked preggers. As time has gone on we weren't sure and last night were saying we might take her to the vet to see if she is. Didn't really think so as our dog sitters didn't notice any shagging happen and they were with them almost 24/7.
This morning I was sitting watching tv when I heard a crow  squawking. It was one of those constant noises and eventually I got up and looked out the window. There is Murphy standing over what I thought was the crow until he picked it up and walked off and I saw a very distinct puppy in his mouth.
I went rushing outside and found 2 more in a recess in the yard. I bought them in with Lilli then Andy walked in saying I found another FOUR!!!! So we have 7 little Hershey coloured lab pups all well and healthy and living in the spare room with mum.
What an exciting day! lol
Will post some photos soon. Awww too cute!!
     

Well its been one  month since the op. I cant believe its been that long. I really cant believe a month of our holidays are gone already. Andy is off to Christchurch this weekend and I'm soooo jealous but glad he is going to see his family. I long to smell the green grass of home. Next year hopefully.
My wounds are healing really well. It still feels really tight at times and I'm guessing it will for a while. I don't know what I would think if it didn't as its a real indication that I have a tight taught tummy. My belly button still looks like a little alien. I am bio oiling like there is no tomorrow. All in all its really good. It sure has made me keen to get a boob job but that will have to wait for now. It will come but not sure when. Someone once said to me I was too old for one but I really don't think so  and even if I did I would still do it lol.
I'm off to walk in water today at the local pools. I'm gonna use a flutter board cos the pools grade is really steep and one minute IMO walking then a step later I am on tippy toes and then I'm submerged so a board should help me a bit. I have also been exercycling. Well I have done 10 minutes of it and it seemed to not be too hard on my belly so will keep going with that . I have been really good with my eating and have lost a grand total of absolutely nothing NOTHING!!!!! I also haven't gained anything so that's something I guess! Blog you soon xxx  

Felt like a million bucks!

Back from the wedding. I saw so many people from work which was lovely to catch up with them all. Most of them didn't recognise me for ages which always happens when I don't wear glasses although I cant see a thing! I wore a dress which is unusual for me so it was probably a little harder to tell my tum had changed but the majority were gob smacked at how different I looked. (lots checked out my none existent new rack lol).
One of the amazing things was how many ladies said they were either booking in or were seriously thinking about booking in for some surgery. They said I had inspired them. Im not sure how but I do understand it takes courage to do it although maybe I didn't show jsut how much I was pooping bricks. So many people thought I looked really different in the face and like I told them its only the 6 days having complete bedrest and then being on holidays although I got asked if I had had a face job!!!!!   
My lesson last night which I have learnt so well but obviously not well enough is 'dont go out hungry'. I was like a prowling lion when the food came out and as ii was Thai food (YUMMO) they had me at coconut cream. Needless to say I chowed down big time and enjoyed every fried, spiced, creamed thing but now I have the guilts so I will drink copious amounts of water and rein in the appetite big time for the next few days.
Will try and get some photos up today xx

Its 5.21am and I have been up for an hour. Not sure whats up with my sleeping I think being on holidays has really thrown it all out of whack.
Last night was the first night I could lie on my tummy and feel almost  like I could have slept like it. Things must be stretching a little for that to happen cos up till now its felt way to tight and I certainly haven't been able to stretch out at all on my tummy. Its a nice feeling to think I will be able to be a tummy sleeper again very soon. I hate it on my back so that will be great.
Ive been thinking I might try and start a weight loss support group up here in the sunny nor' west. Not a weight watchers style but more a share ideas recipes dreams and maybe some exercise together too, I really don't think it matters a toss how you lose weight as long as it is sustainable and I think with encouragement maybe we could cheer each other on to getting weight off and keeping it off. Its of course just an idea at this stage but maybe it will come together.
 We are going to a wedding late today and I am looking forward to getting a wee bit dressed up and seeing a lot of people I haven't since the tuck. I look forward to their reactions or even if they will notice. Most people thought (as I told them) I was having a boob job as well so whenever I run into anybody they look straight at my chest and I can see them thinking 'hmmmm not a lot of change for the money lol). I even had one lady say how great they were looking now!!!!
Will put up an updated photo tomorrow of the scars. Everything is healing perfectly except I still get freaked by my wee alien belly button xx