Another kg down

It s been a week since I last posted. I have lost approx 13kg since the op which feels exciting. I try not to look at the BIG picture and try not to dwell on the 43kg to go. My next goal is to get into double digits. Small steps I figure is the way to go! This week I finally feel that I have arrived at a new understanding of portion changes and accepting (without sadness) that this is my new way of life and not feeling like I am missing out on anything. I now have three meals a day of 1 cup size. Its taken all this time to come to grips with not cooking or ordering extra in case 'I need' to eat more. Where as I would always order much more than needed to cover the 'just in case' factor, I now (mostly) am content with cooking and dishing up only a cup and then sometimes I happily leave a few mouthfuls if I feel full. Taking my time to eat has also been a massive adjustment and I now find that I get irritated with Andy when I watch him wolf down his food and not chew it (oh God, I don't want to become a converted eater like a non smoker sometimes behaves towards smoker's) . Speaking of Andy he is home from the mines only a day after going up due to a hiatus hernia that has appeared. We are off to the hospital this arvo to try and get that sorted. Its blimmin tricky going somewhere unplanned like a hospital and try and find slop for my meals but generally even a milky drink will see me through from one meal time to the next if it has to. I have my first fill in just over a week which is making me a bit nervous especially as a cupful is my limit now it might make me only able to eat an egg cupful after the fill. Bonus side is much cheaper grocery shop lol! Well that's it for now. I will post again in a few days. PS My gorgeous brother left a touching comment on the last post saying that I was an inspiration. I hope if anyone is reading this and needs inspiration that this helps but my main reason for this op was to live, not just exist. The weight that I lost over periods of time was always found again and like smoking I saw my weight issues as slow suicide. I owed doing something significant about the problem to my God, my husband, and my children. I now owe it to them to make this work because if I don't I not only risked my life for all those years yo yo dieting but then massively risked my life having a major surgery and believe me we were all so afraid I might not survive the surgery. I don't want to take one more minute of my life for granted. Ok off to do the weeding xx ciao for now